ORIGINAL: mastachefbkw

Verbally bashing things wasn' t getting enough attention. He just needs a little bit of love & care. Don' t worry Evil Man...

***hug***

feel better? I sure do.

I didnt get a hug

*Kicks mastachef in the nuts*

quote:


Verbally bashing things wasn' t getting enough attention. He just needs a little bit of love & care. Don' t worry Evil Man...

***hug***

feel better? I sure do.


I didnt get a hug


*Kicks mastachef in the nuts*

*masterchef cries*

Sure enough, it was a black bear, most likely male by the size of the print. Funniest thing is, I had my dog with me, and I' m still thankful to this day that he didn' t wake up that night and start barking. He might have been a big dog, but not compared to a bear.

That would take me off camping for my Life.

I don' t live in the woods or anything but I' ve actually seen a young black Bear run around the city. It was hanging out near the Library along the main road. I have no idea how it got there and don' t know what happened with that, I only saw it for a few seconds as I was in the bus going to school.

Close to the street where I used to live, there is a patch of tall grass next to the highway and it was common to see a few Deer. They never bother anyone though.

The scariest animal in the town where I live are the raccoons. Those little fuckers are vicious, clever too. They' re like giant rats with a bad attitiude. Trust me, they' re not as cute and innocent as they look. They are capable of killing and sometimes eating cats and/or small dogs. In North America, they' re considered pests because they will go through your garbage. At my old place, every week, they would open the garbage can (which we tied with rope) and spread the garbage all over our lawn. Even putting our garbage cans in our shed didn' t help. They actually destroyed the shed to get to the garbage cans to rip the bags open and spread garbage all over our lawn. Little bastards.

Of course they did this at like 3:00 am when we were all sleeping. One night I actually caught them in the act. There must have been five of them. I grabbed my baseball bat with a twisted grin on my face. I ran to the glass Porch Door, where the Raccoons where only a few feet away outside. I held up the bat so they could see it and as I was about to open the slidding door the largest Raccon jumped at the door scratching it profusely and growling. That scared the shit out of me! I swear if it wasn' t for the glass door, the Raccoon would have gone straight for my nuts. Fuck it, I told myself they can have my garbage, I don' t want rabies. I' ll get them next week.

I bought a pellet gun the day after that incident. The next week I stayed up all night in the dark holding my new toy after I placed the garbage outside. After waiting about four hours in front of my porch door holding my pellet gun like a mad man, they finally came. I quickly opened the screen door before they could get too close and shot one of them square on its fucking forehead. That' s all it took, they all ran in the opposite direction and I never saw them on my property again.

I bought a pellet gun the day after that incident. The next week I stayed up all night in the dark holding my new toy after I placed the garbage outside. After waiting about four hours in front of my porch door holding my pellet gun like a mad man, they finally came. I quickly opened the screen door before they could get too close and shot one of them square on its fucking forehead.

Haha, you' re f***ing crazy. But I guess that' s why we all love you

I bought a pellet gun the day after that incident. The next week I stayed up all night in the dark holding my new toy after I placed the garbage outside. After waiting about four hours in front of my porch door holding my pellet gun like a mad man, they finally came. I quickly opened the screen door before they could get too close and shot one of them square on its fucking forehead. That' s all it took, they all ran in the opposite direction and I never saw them on my property again.

HA HAHAHAAH LOL Fucking Hilarious!! Agent if you are ever in Ireland we should go out on the piss, I bet you are class craic with a few drinks in ya!

I didnt get a hug

***hugs Mastachef***

Kicks mastachef in the nuts*

***collapses as Majik overshoots Master' s nuts just a little too far as we' re hugging. ***

***coughs up testicle, moves on***

The scariest animal in the town where I live are the raccoons. Those little fuckers are vicious, clever too. They' re like giant rats with a bad attitiude. Trust me, they' re not as cute and innocent as they look. They are capable of killing and sometimes eating cats and/or small dogs. In North America, they' re considered pests because they will go through your garbage.

Dude, they' re friggin insane. Way worse than any bear. I' ve seen docile bears, no such luck with raccoons.

I bought a pellet gun the day after that incident. The next week I stayed up all night in the dark holding my new toy after I placed the garbage outside. After waiting about four hours in front of my porch door holding my pellet gun like a mad man, they finally came. I quickly opened the screen door before they could get too close and shot one of them square on its fucking forehead.

Vindicating wasn' t it?

Best time I think I ever had was fending off raccoons with an M1 Carbine lookalike pellet gun. I was about 13, & I was over my uncles house. Raccoons loved the place, & we sat upstairs looking outside the windows for the (aptly named) little f******.

We had his brand new low-light camping goggles (not as cool, and way heavier than Sam Fisher' s) and had painted the sight white on the pellet gun. It was the most enjoyable northern redneck moment I think I' ve ever had.

I bought a pellet gun the day after that incident. The next week I stayed up all night in the dark holding my new toy after I placed the garbage outside. After waiting about four hours in front of my porch door holding my pellet gun like a mad man, they finally came. I quickly opened the screen door before they could get too close and shot one of them square on its fucking forehead. That' s all it took, they all ran in the opposite direction and I never saw them on my property again.

Awesome.

...shot one of them square on its fucking forehead

Hahaha, dude you fucking kill me!

" Haha, you' re f***ing crazy. But I guess that' s why we all love you"

LOL that' s what my mom said to me the other day.



" HA HAHAHAAH LOL Fucking Hilarious!! Agent if you are ever in Ireland we should go out on the piss, I bet you are class craic with a few drinks in ya!"

Yeah, I don' t have much desire to leave the country anytime soon. But if ever I do leave for a trip, Ireland is at the top of my list of places I want to see. In a few years I can see myself making the trip. If ever I do, I' ll let you know. We' d have a blast, I' m sure of it.



" Dude, they' re friggin insane. Way worse than any bear. I' ve seen docile bears, no such luck with raccoons."

Yeah I' ve been close to a lot of animals in person. All these animals will leave us alone as long as we respect their territory and give them space. A bear won' t wake up looking for a human so it can rip his face off. Raccoons' aren' t like that, they will invade our space just to fuck with us. The thing with Raccoons is that they bring the whole family, so whenever the offspring get close to you the parents automatically perceive you as a threat. It' s a real bitch to have them going in your garbage.

So yeah it was pretty vindicating to get rid of them.

Possums are the worst! i swear one tried to attack me. It thought it was a cat and hung around with like 20 cats and out of nowhere it comes up and attacks my leg and runs off. I hate those bastards!