* The main character will have to escort 20 puppies with horrible AI throughout the entire game. If one of these puppies is even mildly uncomfortable, the character dies and the game ends.
* Locked / broken doors will randomly explode and kill you.
* Puzzles will require the ability to multiply and divide Roman numerals in 2 seconds or less. These Roman numerals can kill you.
* Enemies no longer have to attack you in order to kill you.
* You will not get any guns throughout the game. Your only weapon will be a plastic spork that breaks after 1 use. You can accidentally kill yourself with the plastic spork.
* Your radio will only get one station that plays " Camptown Races." Trying to turn it off will only make it louder.
* If you die in the game, your game console will explode.
* Upon completion of the game, you will get a special message from the development team (it says " thank you and god job usa #1" ) and you may unlock a Super Mario costume for your character.