http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16827136133 Consider a next gen optical drive. A Blu-ray/HD-DVD combo drive is a good idea, at least Blu-ray. Something like that^.
-Go for a 8600GT as a videocard, they have Purevideo (hardware/software video decoder).
-As for a case. I recommend a larger HTPC case with a screen (if budget allows) that supports full ATX mobo' s. The Zalman HD160(XT) is worth a look. Although I don' t consider myself an expert in HTPC cases.
-As for the Mobo/CPU, I would go for an Intel P35 mobo and something like an Intel Core 2 Duo E6750 CPU.
-RAM->Something reliable like this is good, Corsair XMS2 TWIN2X2048-6400C4
-HDD-> Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 500GB
-Power supply->Corsair CMPSU-620HX 620W
-As for software, I have no idea.
Those are just some ideas....