Dear Ubisoft...

Author Message
Eddie_the_Hated
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Dear Ubisoft... - Mar 29, 2010 03:47
Dear Ubisoft,

What the fuck did you do to my Splinter Cell?

I don't want Uncharted. I don't want Ghost Recon. I don't want Rainbow Six. I don't want to be encouraged to kill everybody in the room, or race through the levels, or play pussy rescue missions with scientists. I don't want shitty, poorly-scripted plots and dialogue. I don't want ultra wideband pulse systems that somehow miraculously fit into a goggle on top of my head. I don't want "Mark & execute". I don't want some "top secret R&D" creative license for Fisher's invisible suppressor, and I want to be able to move the people I kill...

I don't want this shit. Give me back Splinter Cell, and let me play the game without firing a single bullet again.

Love, hugs and a bucket full of AIDS,

Eddie
"I'll wager sixty finest English pence that you defeat Big Sister in the end by shagging her to death."

Kikizo.com - Excellence in Journalism
Edwin
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Re:Dear Ubisoft... - Mar 29, 2010 14:09
/vocoder on

Dear Eddie,

If you ever want to see your precious daught- Fisher again, leave ten million dollars and four or five high quality pornography DVDs behind the Jefferson Memorial by oh nine hundred tomorrow.

respectfully,

Uncle Ubisoft
Edwin
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Re:Dear Ubisoft... - Mar 30, 2010 16:51
Dear Eddie,

So we checked the Jefferson Memorial this morning - no moolah, no DVD. Just for that, the next Splinter Cell game is being made by Michel Ancel. It's going to have cell-shaded flying saucers in it. Fuck you too.

Sincerely,

Uncle Ubisoft
Joe Redifer
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Re:Dear Ubisoft... - Apr 01, 2010 07:09
Dear UbiSoft -

You haven't made a game I cared about since Rayman 2 on the Sega® Dreamcast™ 128-bit video game system.  And the only game you made before that which I cared about was Rayman 1 on the Sega® Saturn™ 32-bit videogame system.  Beyond Good and Evil had my attention for a few minutes, but I qiuckly became bored with it.  Now you are one of the kings of shovelware.  Please die, UbiSoft... please die.

Love,
Joe

(PS - I hate French Canadians)
Nitro
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Re:Dear Ubisoft... - Apr 05, 2010 21:03
Eddie_the_Hated


Dear Ubisoft,

What the fuck did you do to my Splinter Cell?

I don't want Uncharted. I don't want Ghost Recon. I don't want Rainbow Six. I don't want to be encouraged to kill everybody in the room, or race through the levels, or play pussy rescue missions with scientists. I don't want shitty, poorly-scripted plots and dialogue. I don't want ultra wideband pulse systems that somehow miraculously fit into a goggle on top of my head. I don't want "Mark & execute". I don't want some "top secret R&D" creative license for Fisher's invisible suppressor, and I want to be able to move the people I kill...

I don't want this shit. Give me back Splinter Cell, and let me play the game without firing a single bullet again.

Love, hugs and a bucket full of AIDS,

Eddie


I quite liked the demo - although maybe I'm just happy it didn't get canned last year. I think I'll enjoy the Deniable Op's more than the main game, but I'm still picking it up on day one. After Double Agent, I can't see what else they could have done to breathe new life into the franchise.