I' m suprised AlbinoBlackSheep even lets this drivel onto their site.

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?

Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict " No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don' t remember installing?

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under " Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes " Comet Cursor" , " Bonzi Buddy" and " Flash" .

If your son has requested a new " processor" from a company called " AMD" , this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, " knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: " Snow Crash" and " Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; " Neuromancer" by William Gibson; " Programming with Perl" by Timothy O' Reilly; " Geeks" by Jon Katz; " The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; " Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; " Hackers" by Steven Levy; and " The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.

If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child' s possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.

And my personal favorite...

6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

I don' t condone flaming, but for today...

It' s open season.

The original poster should be hung, drawn and quartered for the layout of his page. It reminds me of how many websites looked in 1995...

I don' t know whether to be angry, confused, or disgusted[:' (] by those statements. I think I will go with all 3.

Umm, he' s not serious with this article right?
I hope it' s a joke.

BTW, what kind of nutcase site is this?
http://adequacy.org/?op=displaystory;sid=2001/12/2/42056/2147
It' s full of weird articles and opinions.

The article about goths sure surprised me:

Even more shockingly, many Goths are vampires (or as they term it, vampyres). They adore going out at night, kidnapping young virgins (virgins are much prized in Goth culture, though hard to find) and sucking their blood.

Goths also deny their sex. They consider themselves androgynous. This is so perverted it is unreal - and it explains why so many of them insist on wearing concealing clothes and adopting strange, asexual names. Where good Christian women know their place and live as good homemakers in the nest, female Goths like to defy their feminine nature and behave in extremely agressive ways.

The question is, what can be done to stop them? Simple:

Wearing of black banned in all schools...
All people suspected of being goths should have their bloodcounts regularly measured. If there is a shortfall, clearly they must be participating in Vampiric and Goth-like behaviour, in which case they can be sent to a place of Christian re-education.
Ban long hair. It is well known that long hair is not Christian. No followers of Jesus ever had long hair, so all those with collar length or longer hair are under suspicion. All schools should insist in properly cropped hair, except for girls, for whom the converse applies.
It is only by righteous and tough love that we will exterminate this warped creed from the minds of the young. Let there be a mighty awakening across America, and a damnation of all heathens and unbelievers, such as Goths.

And this guy doesn' t like anime:
http://adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.11.20.94827.169.aspx

And so forth...
Christian Americans are the scariest kind of people I know of...

Somebody' s irony detector needs to be replaced. This is an old bit of satire, lampooning the " parents beware" articles that seem to accompany all new technology. It' s dated 2001, back when Quake was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

In other news, eating sliced bread is a sure sign that your child is involved in a criminal gang.

The article about goths sure surprised me:

Dude! I was wondering if anybody would read that.

Somebody' s irony detector needs to be replaced. This is an old bit of satire,

After you' ve been following the games industry for a while, you aren' t suprised to hear that this sort of stuff is real. Thanks for the info though.

Hahaha, you mean you thought it was actually serious?!

Okay, I deal with people like that every day. I got suspended from the library (back when my webbernets were gone) for " putting viruses on the bandwidth" .


...



I was using a damn flash drive.

ORIGINAL: Eddie_the_Hated

Okay, I deal with people like that every day. I got suspended from the library (back when my webbernets were gone) for " putting viruses on the bandwidth" .


...



I was using a damn flash drive.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Seriously????!!!!

Damn, ...perhaps you should now infect them with something really nasty for being so dense

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Seriously????!!!!

Damn, ...perhaps you should now infect them with something really nasty for being so dense

Yeah dude, seriously.

It was pretty sad, they actually got their biggest looking librarian (aka 5' 8" & about 160 lbs) to try to escort me from the premise. LOL-rific in it' s own right as I' m not exactly scrawny. So he told me that I couldn' t plug in my flash drive because I could be putting viruses on the bandwidth, & that I was not allowed to return to the premise for a month.

I' m still figuring out a suitable revenge.

I' m still figuring out a suitable revenge.

I' ll PM you my friend' s number, his name is Aqmed Muhammed Sala-Hoodine

How will inside contacts in 7-11 help me?

I was laughing all the way through the article. I didn' t know that AlbinoBlackSheep even had articles. How did I miss that?

My brother got into trouble at his school for using a flash drive. Only they called it a " thumb" drive. That combined with another incident and they ended up depriving him of any computer access at the school, period.

Done that before too. Only thing was, I was kinda uploading the original Call of Duty demo at the time, so I looked a smidgen guilty.

I just noticed that the article is from the site Ginjirou was talking about.

Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children' s education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we' d bought, such as Adobe' s Photoshop and Microsoft' s Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: " Peter is a computer hacker!"

I' m bookmarking this site!

Yeah, it' s a pretty funny site. All we need now is some Da-Vinci Code bashing drivel & some Rock ' n Roll record burning meetings, & we' ve got ourselves the Angry Letter-Writing Mothers of America Society.