Dear Ubisoft,

What the fuck did you do to my Splinter Cell?

I don't want Uncharted. I don't want Ghost Recon. I don't want Rainbow Six. I don't want to be encouraged to kill everybody in the room, or race through the levels, or play pussy rescue missions with scientists. I don't want shitty, poorly-scripted plots and dialogue. I don't want ultra wideband pulse systems that somehow miraculously fit into a goggle on top of my head. I don't want "Mark & execute". I don't want some "top secret R&D" creative license for Fisher's invisible suppressor, and I want to be able to move the people I kill...

I don't want this shit. Give me back Splinter Cell, and let me play the game without firing a single bullet again.

Love, hugs and a bucket full of AIDS,

Eddie

/vocoder on

Dear Eddie,

If you ever want to see your precious daught- Fisher again, leave ten million dollars and four or five high quality pornography DVDs behind the Jefferson Memorial by oh nine hundred tomorrow.

respectfully,

Uncle Ubisoft

Dear Eddie,

So we checked the Jefferson Memorial this morning - no moolah, no DVD. Just for that, the next Splinter Cell game is being made by Michel Ancel. It's going to have cell-shaded flying saucers in it. Fuck you too.

Sincerely,

Uncle Ubisoft

Dear UbiSoft -

You haven't made a game I cared about since Rayman 2 on the Sega® Dreamcast™ 128-bit video game system.  And the only game you made before that which I cared about was Rayman 1 on the Sega® Saturn™ 32-bit videogame system.  Beyond Good and Evil had my attention for a few minutes, but I qiuckly became bored with it.  Now you are one of the kings of shovelware.  Please die, UbiSoft... please die.

Love,
Joe

(PS - I hate French Canadians)

Eddie_the_Hated


Dear Ubisoft,

What the fuck did you do to my Splinter Cell?

I don't want Uncharted. I don't want Ghost Recon. I don't want Rainbow Six. I don't want to be encouraged to kill everybody in the room, or race through the levels, or play pussy rescue missions with scientists. I don't want shitty, poorly-scripted plots and dialogue. I don't want ultra wideband pulse systems that somehow miraculously fit into a goggle on top of my head. I don't want "Mark & execute". I don't want some "top secret R&D" creative license for Fisher's invisible suppressor, and I want to be able to move the people I kill...

I don't want this shit. Give me back Splinter Cell, and let me play the game without firing a single bullet again.

Love, hugs and a bucket full of AIDS,

Eddie

I quite liked the demo - although maybe I'm just happy it didn't get canned last year. I think I'll enjoy the Deniable Op's more than the main game, but I'm still picking it up on day one. After Double Agent, I can't see what else they could have done to breathe new life into the franchise.