OK, extrememly stupid thread time!

If all of your favorite videogame corporation superstars got into a brawl for no reason (of course), who would win, and why? Here are the contenders:

Shigeru Miyamoto
Weapon of choice: Poison mushrooms

Yu Suzuki
Weapon of choice: Motorcycle exhaust

Bernie Stolar
Weapon of choice: Stubble + giant nose

Yuzo Koshiro
Weapon of choice: Fingernails across the chalkboard

Nobuo Uematsu
Weapon of choice: Repetitive march

Gumpei Yokoi
Weapon of choice: Zombie strength

Yuji Naka
Weapon of choice: Confusing visuals

Tomonobu Itagaki
Weapon of choice: Ninja Gaiden on hardest setting + overall arrogance.

Hideo Kojima
Weapon of choice: Power of love