The make believe thread!

So since the news is so ****ing boring these days, and there is nothing fun to post about. This is where you post about your own fantasy games news. Feel free to make anything up.




F*ck im bored, i know!

Crap even this thread is boring!


arghhhh!

Sony has pulled out of the console race and has started developing CELL powered condoms.

Sony has pulled out of the console race and has started developing CELL powered condoms

LOL, I almost peed on myself. AWESOME!!!

Microsoft will no longer support PC' s and will launch a special 360 with Vista preloaded!

Nintendo has merged with Microsoft and both are now developing a gaming console that is said to " blow your fucking mind" .

Rumor has it Microsoft had to pay the media 10 Billion just to keep that Expletive in the headlines.

" What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things."
~ Unknown ~

Sony has teamed up with the George Foreman brand to create a grill that can be hooked up to you HDTV so you can watch your food as it cooks in High Definition without having to lift up the cover!

Square Enix announce they are making their last FF game and it will be titled Forever Fantasy.

Sony announces that it has finished development on the PS4 and Sony has confirmed that it will infact be a worldwide launch this coming June, with Europe expected to see launch in March of 2008. Ken Kutagari has gone on record in saying that the PS4 will not sport a CPU or GPU but rather rely on quantum calculations over the Playstation network to power each PS4. " PS4 is more powerful than GOD, he told me." When asked about the retail price Ken responded: " I can' t talk about that now but be prepared to re-morgage your house" . Ken finished by saying " we learned a lot with the PS3 and we decided that we needed to make a sexier console, the PS4 is so sexy that several designers went blind during it' s inception."

New Mario Party game due out next month has been delayed due to a dispute at Nintendo. Developers have lost count and can' t agree on weather or not it' s the 18th or 19th version of the game. The rumor is that it will be called Final Mario Party.

This just in, Sega have decided to pull back into the console wars.

A Nintendo representative had this to say:

" I still wish a couple of big-headed developers will come along and go " Microsoft, Nintendo, Sony, your time is up. Bow down to the latest and greatest in technology, witness the awesome might of our Super Consoles!!!"

Then, after struggling to beat the competition, Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony all join forces to relinquish these powerful companies by making one great console of their own. It would have Microsofts' Live system and graphics, Nintendos' innovation and family appeal and Sonys raw power and cunningness.

All of the sudden, the three unleash the mighty wrath of their Wiistation 360(name pending) and dominate the market! Then, the WOOORLD!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!




... just think about it."

Kikizo buys IGN!
IGN' s (now Kikizo' s) Matt Casamassina has suddenly become a Sega fan.
Since he has influence over Nintendo he has convinced Nintendo to buy Sega and thus, all of our favourite Sega franchises will be done right by Nintendo.
Sonic, Panzer Dragoon, Nights, Shenmue, welcome back!
Sonic enters Super Smash Bros

Microsoft Buys Sega. And then Capcom. And then Namco. Then Ea buys Microsoft. And they then Form one Single Mother Company called Outer Heaven!.

Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.

Viva La Revolution! erm, I mean Viva La Wii!

Everyone here had my ideas

Kikizo buys IGN!

Inevitable

This just in, Sega have decided to pull back into the console wars

Soon or has launched a new handheld

Square Enix announce they are making their last FF game

When will it finally stop.

hideo kojima now president and CEO of SCEA.

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Apple makes its foray into the console race with its all new " iBox" . Supporting this new console is a gaming version of Mac OS, and will support the totally revolutionary " iLive" . Apple CEO Steve Jobs had this to say -

" We here at Apple are proud to bring our drive for innovation and ease of use to the console market. As far as I know, apple is the first to offer a real OS on a console, and iLive is going to be a revolution in gaming, something nobody has done yet.

Jobs later went on to say that current video game controllers have become too complicated, and that the iBox' s controllers will feature just one large button, that depending where you press, can deliver up to 2 different inputs! If this isn' t enough, there is also reported to be a stationary scroll ball, that will allow you to scroll your way around the screen, replacing the traditional joystick.

As of right now, there is only one third party developer porting games to the iBox, and it' s Blizzard. Other than that, Jobs says you should be able to get about 10% of the games other systems have, about 1 to 2 years after release.

Ken Kuratagi to be new head of Sony Europe, and will be in charge of the PS3 launch. On accpeting he is quoted as saying:" The PS3 will out sell the 360,Wii,DS and all PC format games by the end of the year." Which year we are unsure of.

Sony announce their new PS3, with Blu-ray, ooooooo, and Cell, ahhhhhhhhh, and an out dated RSX, god dammit!!!!

Sony say that they will launch world wide in the first quarter of 2006.



Hey, since this is a make believe thread, all we have to do is quote a bunch from Sony leading up to the launch of the PS3. Thanks Ken for making this easy!!!

Sony reads Sega' s glossary on:

" Successful Consoles for dummies"

There are two rules to success:

1. Never tell all you know.

-Macrosoft is released to worldwide acclaim, as Jobs and Gates elope to Argentina, leaving Melinda Gates to gain control of all assets. Macrosoft purchases 3 major Linux variants with puppet companies, and keeps them relatively afloat to prevent monopoly litigation.

-The playstation 3 drops in price to $400 USD, and sells 11.4 million by November 2007.

-Evil Man apologises for his harsh language.

-Everybody on Kikizo stops getting on Evil Man' s case about his harsh language.

-Rumble is re-introduced by Sony in January 07, in a $100 blister-pack also containing Heavenly Sword and MGS4. Along with the current SIXAXIS feature, rumble will be included to create their latest controller, aptly named " WE FINALLY GOT A F****** CONTROLLER RIGHT" . (Controller is 2 feet wide to accomodate the particularly large & long text.)

Earthbound 2 Released. N.Korea Dismantles Nukes in Honor

Fallout 3 Released. Doesn' t Suck

Shenmue 3 Released. Cures AIDS

Jack Thompson Spotted at Miami Gamespot

Jack Thompson, Florida attorney and anti-game lobbyist, was seen Tuesday emerging drunk and disorderly from a Miami Gamespot. Although he declined to be interviewed as he was pushed roughly into a waiting patrol car, we managed to speak with the owner and proprietor of the establishment, who chooses not to be named. She had this to say about her " distinguished" guest.

" Well, I' ve known him for a number of years. He' s really kind of a wimp, I mean he sued me for battery once... over a pat on the shoulder. Anyway, I never really pay much attention to him when he wanders in here, especially when he' s drunk, I' m only interested in virile men anyway."

bungie finished halo 3

Sony hits 5 million with PS3

wii gets more than 1 really good game (not counting older games)

A halo movie actually gets made

Someone makes a decent football game

XBLA gets capability to hold games larger than the memory card

McDonalds and burger king enter the gaming business

And speaking on Shenmue 3. This just in, Shinjiro Myamoto, head of Nintendo decided to take over Yu Suzuki' s project for the third installment of the Shenmue series. ' Since Yu isn' t really making any real moves to push the project, I feel that I have what it takes to make a revolutionary game. Plus I' m still a little high from when we finished Zelda: Twilight Princess.' he said during a guest appearance on the ' Colbert Report' . When asked to reveal any changes to the former Yu Suzuki' s story, he briefly replied, ' Nothing is going to change to the story, except that Joy is going to sleep with Lan Di, and Ryo learns Drunken Kung Fu.'