' All Kinds of Jokes' thread

A thread for JOKES. Post up some of your favorite jokes here.
Here' s a starter:

Because I' m Blonde?

A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. " Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, " we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
" Very good," said her mother.
" Is it because I' m blonde, Mommy?"
" Yes, Honey, it' s because you' re blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. " Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, " we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
" Very good," said her mother.
" Is it because I' m blonde, Mommy?"
" Yes, Honey, it' s because you' re blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. " Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, " we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
" Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
" Is it because I' m blonde, mommy?"
" No, Honey, it' s because you' re 25."

Jack Off

An executive was stessed out. He had to fire one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, either Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, since they were both equally qualified and both excellent workers. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.

Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take a couple of aspirins and the executive approached her and said, " Debra, I' ve never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

Debra replied, " Could you please jack off? I have a terrible headache."