[Contest] The dumbest thing you've done...

Top it.

I wouldn't mind having a few games and competitions like this here on Kikizo, and while I don't have anything like excessive money, if ideas like this take off, I'm thinking about maybe doing something like a custom faceplate for a reward for the voted winner, pending Adam's blessings of the idea.

So, to begin,

Temporary-tattooed a pumpkin-face tattoo on my ass.

Me and a friend completely trashed his sister's 1996(maybe 95) Mustang. We busted out all the windows, slashed the tires, busted the lights and even shot a few holes in the side with a shot gun. She wasn't completely pissed, because she got it for free and it didn't have an engine, plus she recently sold it to some guy who recycled the metal. We spent two days on it, and the hardest part was the front windshield, those things are impossible to get out without cutting your hands to pieces. Pics if I can find them.

EDIT: I think your idea is great. I've noticed a drop in new users since we quit the prize thing, so this would also bring new users to the forum, I could also throw some topless pics of myself in there. That would definitely bring some new users.

EDIT #2: I just thought of  a close second. One time I took my neighbor's fence down over night, during hurricane Katrina and all of their cows got in my yard. They spent the next 3 or 4 days tracking down cows in my yard, which was very annoying.

My friedn hates when i spread this story but owell he aint here! I think I told part of this story here before...

Ok so we're downtown having just spent several hours here there and everywhere. At around 4am we decide its time to head back but before so i wanted to pick up a Hookuh (display purposes only) at Sexworld. We go in and shop around. After a bit he steps out for a smoke. After a bit I walk out with my new item. He comes running up to me saying "Dude dude I think I got some prostitutes!" At this time I was with Jess and even then so I wanted nothign to do with prostitutes. Yet somehow he convinced me that he needed it so I said "Whatever just make it quick.

He disappears for a few seconds and comes back with two bum ass people. Then proceeds to tell me we need to drive them to the spot with the prostitutes. This annoyed me to no end since it was my car. But I guess I should say I was under the influence of stuff that I cant recall at the moment. So he again convinces me to allow this. He was nervous about something also, cause he told me to sit in the back with one of them and he would drive with the other riding shotgun so we wouldnt have them both behind us.

We take off and stop in front of heavily populated area the passenger gets out talks to someone then comes back a moment later. My friend gives him some cash and the bum hands him a baggy. A baggy full of crack. My dumbass friend just made a crack deal in my car without even telling me. I'm a bit annoyed at this point so I say dude lets drops these people off and get the fuck home. He says fine fine but first he needs to hit some of that stuff. He pulls in behind a gas station and starts up. Everything is downhill from here.

The bum asks for more money for putting himself out there. My friend says fuck no. They get into a verbal fight, while bum number two tried to convince me to get the money somehow before things get real bad. I tell her to shut the fuck up and let them deal with it. She keeps pressing. They get a bit more violent up front. Finally I say fuck it I'll pay the money just to get these fucks out of my car. I go into the gas station use the atm and hand out the money.

On the way back to the car I notice one of the bums has acquired a sharp object, a pen I think. I get in the backseat hand over the money and tell them to leave. However suddenly my friend decides no they are gonna stay and they will give the money back. He throws his seatbelt on peels out and heads back into the city. Its a bout 6 or 7 am on a weekday so lots of people are heading to work. He starts yelling shit left and right as he starts going fastetr and faster. "You scared yet n---ers?! Lets get the cops on us so we can see who they beleive!"  Which was his plan apparently to get the cops to pull us over and claim we were being held up.

During this mad attempt hes hitting 90 weaving through cars and flying past red lights. At one point he careens onto a curb for a bit then weaves back into traffic. He skims a parked SUV but skims it hard enough to burst the front tire. This doesnt stop him. I notice the bum in the back reach for the pen which prompts me to act and grab that thing before she starts stabbing. She fights for a sec but we hit a bump and she loses her grip. This goes on for a good 20 or 30 minutes and not a single dman cops ever appears. He finally hits the breaks. And tells them to run they start to get out and he starts the car up a again. He does this a few times. before they finally jump out. He gets out also with a metal pipe in hand and starts the chase them. I jump out and tackle him trying to calm his retarded ass down.

People start coming out and seeing what hell is happening. I get my friend back in the car and head out to a more isolated area. Park it and go to replace the damn tire. We get home at about 8am.

...yeah...I'm not the best at writing but I'm sure you can see the fucked up situation good enough...

Oh yeah here's a few small snippets:
Doing something I rarely ever do which is driving drunk. I attempted to get from one house to another. During this surreal ride at one point I thought someone was following us. I made a few turns and went into a randome driveway. Somehow this driveway belonged to the following car. Or it didnt and I was just losing my mind. Either way a car ended up behind us trying to get into a driveway.

Thinking back on it...I really can't figure out what the hell that was all about. I know we all saw the car and I know we all saw it make the same turns I did and I know they pulled up behind us but then moved out of the way when we backed out of the driveway...maybe some other durnks looking for the same party we were looking for...

The other snippet of info was me wrecking my car. However, I was sober at the time and driving with a friend my niece and two of her friends and we were on a quest to pick up various "items" tho.

Came to what i thought was a four way stop in which I did stop and so did the perosn who coming perpendicular to me. Thing is she didnt need to stop for anything so thats why i thought it was a four way stop  so I proceeded forward when then another car whom this other person was blocking tboned my car at 40+mph. I managed to turn the car away from him just enough to the hit to be non fatal (tho ultimatly it was sheer luck). Cause what happened was my passenger wouldve have been crushed easily, but instead her seat took a direct hit and dislodged itself thus pushing her away from the carnage.
The damage inside is so much worse. I wish theyd had taken more pictures for me. Incedently it still drove.

Incedently it still drove.

Sideways?

Well i guess I shouldnt say drove, but it "moved". It moved enough to get it better positioned for the tow truck. I wouldn't take it back for a spin around the block..hell I wouldnt even want ti back out fo a driveway with it. But With all that shit that cars been through it was tough as fuck. No wonder cops use them. Its a 93. ive taken it offroad, my friend put it through the paces as explain in the story above and it got t-boned but kept on ticking.

Which worries me now cause I bet my next cars gonna die the second I drive it off the lot.

Anyhow we have a large crowd of drinkers and users here where's some more stories. I wanna know if anyone has one seedier than mine so I can take comfort in the fact that i'm not alone!

I used to like driving when high, it was very liberating to drive down empty highways at 100mph while completely stoned out of my mind, those were the good old days.

Fighting.

I have a record as long as my cock, most of it's minor stuff, but it's the two convictions for assault that stopped me moving to Canada. I blame Stella.

Well, I think we can pretty safely say that mass has the current lead..

...somebody top him. I'd hate to think I had to put all that work in on a faceplate for that guy.

Marijuana, Salvia 40x, Jimson Weed taken in that order.  I didn't bring the Jimson weed, I didn't even know what it was except what they told me.  Which was that it's an hallucinogen.  It was however my idea to take them one after another.  I volenteered for the first round, we all smoked the pot and the plan was to each take a hit of Salvia and Jimson Weed, no one went after me.

I won't even talk about the pot because it was completely overshadowed by the other two.  Taking pot with Salvia and Jimson Weed is like giving yourself a paper cut while setting yourself on fire and being hit by a train.  In terms of severity, Mary Jane ain't shit.

This almost killed me, very very stupid.  The pot and Salvia were fine. But Jimson weed is retarded.  Salvia is like super potent LSD with the bulk of the effects that lasts only a few seconds.  Salvia is interesting because it's one of the most powerful hallucinagens a person can take yet it's very safe, practically no side effects.  However it's not a fun party drug, and it's not for beginners either.  It's the kind of drug you take if you want to see god.  Never take it alone because you will lose your shit.  It feels like your mind turns inside out and reality expires.  It's not like alcohol where you lose your motor skills and you can't walk straight.  With salvia you won't be able to walk straight because you won't recognise the floor.  You get these random sensations, and bizzare visual and perharps auditory hallucinations. 

Salvia hits you fast and hard it was over after 30 seconds.
I can't remember anything but apparently I was giggling like school girl, I kept saying I was getting bigger, heavier and stronger.  Finally I yell out "DUDES I'M THE JUGGERNAUT".  I don't know if I was joking or if I actually thought I was the Juggernaut.  I wish I had that on tape though, it must have been hilarious.  Still not something to take lightly.  That stuff is very hardcore, as I said not for amatures.

Jimson Weed on the other hand is not for anyone.  Seriously, had I known how dangerous the stuff is I never would have touched it.  First of all it's literally a poison.  It's rated as one of the most deadly plants.  Physically I felt like my blood was boiling and that I hadn't had water since birth, my heart was racing.  I'm sure I almost had a heart attack.  At that moment that's not even the scariest part though.  The scariest part were the hallucinations.  Where Salvia was random and silly I knew I was high because I was describing the sensations to my friends, Jimson Weed is like being a schizophrenic.  You get hallucinations and dellusions.  The hallucinations feel real and you forget that you're high.  It's really scary shit too.  I remember everything.  The floor turned into worms and maggots, I could hear screams all around me and my friends were fucking zombies.  I tried to kill them with a large kitchen knife.  Fortunately I wasn't actually holding a knife and my friends were easilly able to contain me in my condition.  I literally thought I was going to be eaten by zombies, it felt so real.  The thought that it might be a dream or an hallucination never crossed my mind.  

Moral of the story, never take a drug before doing your research, that includes perscription drugs.  Jimson Weed, never again.  Salvia I might try again but i'm in no rush.            

"This is sad. There's no other word for it. The person who invents a way to punch someone in the face over the Internet will make millions from the demand generated by people like this." Youtube comments

I don't like salvia, the first time I did it I had 10x extract, as soon as I exhaled the first hit my knees kind of gave out and I fell to the ground, I was struggling in the floor trying to get up for like 2 minutes, I wasn't hurt or anything it was just like my lower body was really weak.

SO the next day I tried it again and this time I just felt a tingling (almost painful) feeling in my face, and I was just totally confused, and thats how its always been since then, no point in doing that, it doesn't really get you "high".

emofag


I used to like driving when high, it was very liberating to drive down empty highways at 100mph while completely stoned out of my mind, those were the good old days.

It's really too bad you didn't crash.  Nobody would have missed you.

Well my story doesn't compare with mass or agent but here goes.

So I started out the day by skipping school, then sat around doing stupid shit(watching the porn channel and other stupid shit), so I get bored and decide to fuck around(at the time I was into a tabletop game called Warhammer) so I decided to fuck around with some paper towel tubes(to make "scenery" for said tabletop game) and decided that scorch marks would be a nice touch.  Well I tell you that fire it is hot and channels such hotness strait up a tube, so basically the fire got out of hand and I couldn't blow it out so I tried to run it to the kitchen to put it in the sink, well it got hot enough that i only made it halfway before I dropped it on the carpeted floor.  Naturally the carpet caught fire and I proceeded stomped it out(which happened to send embers all over the place catcing more of the carpet on fire, finally I got it all out, but it had burnt holes trough about a 5 foot stretch of the carpet(it didn't burn through all of it, so it was patchy).  Now this was bad enough in itself, but then I decided to try to clean it(ah stupidness it piles on itself), which more or less meant I scrubbed it and applied almost all the cleaning chemicals i could find, vacuumed it and then tried more scraping, all of which did nothing put make it smell like lilacs and strange chemicals.

Now that is prolly hard to understand but it is what is, so to sum it up I skipped school, almost burned down my house and then tried to cover it up and almost got kicked out my house in the process.  You decide, dumbest thing so far, prolly not.  Damn stupid, I think so.

It depends on the stuff you get, there's different purities you might of had a contaminated batch.  It's hard to find good Salvia.  Also people react differently.  The high is basically sensory hallucinations, that includes touch.  It's very possible the stuff you took wasn't potent enough for visual hallucinations.  Your brain might just be wired differently, some people are less sensitive too.

lol torr, why use soap? 

Torr just reminded me of a stupid thing I did when I was younger.  Not a big thing but it was funny at the time.  I always spill food, even as an adult.  Within the familly I'm infamous for this.  This is not even while drinking or anything, I'm clumbsy and I like to carry everything at once, drink, plate, utensils...

Anyways when i was 12 ish I spilled some macaroni on the kitchen floor.  I fucking cleaned the mess and went to get more diner.  On my way back to the table I slipped on the wet floot at the same exact spot lol, this time I fell backwards and the food was all over me.  My family who were all seated at the dining table laughed their asses off.  I don't even like macaroni.  Now they still tease me by offering to bring my plate for me. 

So far I think Nitro wins for the one who payed the highest price for his stupidity.

"This is sad. There's no other word for it. The person who invents a way to punch someone in the face over the Internet will make millions from the demand generated by people like this." Youtube comments

Joe Redifer

It's really too bad you didn't crash.  Nobody would have missed you.

LOL

This is what happens when you take the internet seriously, kids.

Agent Ghost


It depends on the stuff you get, there's different purities you might of had a contaminated batch.  It's hard to find good Salvia.  Also people react differently.  The high is basically sensory hallucinations, that includes touch.  It's very possible the stuff you took wasn't potent enough for visual hallucinations.  Your brain might just be wired differently, some people are less sensitive too.

If the point is supposed to be hallucinations, it infinitely pales in comparison to psylocibin mushrooms.  With high dosages I get visual, auditory, and perceptual hallucinations, I almost fucked a bitch on shrooms one time and she was NASTY, I only do shrooms around attractive women nowadays, incase something happens atleast I won't regret it as much.

But shrooms are pretty much the best drug, with low dosages you get a nice buzz like if you were smoking weed, with high dosages it's just a nice trip, there always seems to be a "Theme" to my trips, a few years ago I ate a shitload of shrooms after watching LOTR with a friend and we were tripping so bad we were acting like character in the movie, he had a pipe and in my mind the pipe was a "relic" and I demanded he hand it over to me so it wouldn't be in the wrong hands, the convo went like this

Me: GIVE ME THE PIPE
Friend: NO
Me: GIVE IT TO ME!!
Friend: Why?
Me: BECAUSE IT'S NOT SAFE WITH YOU, I CAN PROTECT IT
Friend: *puzzled look on his face, put his hand on his chin and starts thinking about where he should give me the pipe or not*
Me: THERES NO ONE ELSE YOU CAN TRUST IT WITH
Friend: You're right, I'm sorry dude, take it

And he gave me the pipe, then we just fell on the floor laughing for like 30 minutes straight, my ribs and lungs hurt from so much laughing.  Good times.

a few years ago I ate a shitload of shrooms after watching LOTR with afriend and we were tripping so bad we were acting like character in themovie

lol

I never did shrooms...

"This is sad. There's no other word for it. The person who invents a way to punch someone in the face over the Internet will make millions from the demand generated by people like this." Youtube comments

Most of my dumb stories involve alcohol. 

On my first holiday alone with friends (like 16) we went to Magaluf.  We were all really wasted after a night out, and thought it would be funny to run round the pool in only our socks and pants, screaming our heads off.  When security arrived we bolted, and I ended up split up from my mates, running through an apartment block which wasn't ours.  I was sure the security guard was coming down the stairs after me, so I dived into an apartment which had it's door left open.  I hid under the bed, and waited for the security guard to walk past.

When I woke up, I was still under the bed in a room full of English guys.  One of the guys was on a lilo on the floor next to the bed.  I had to wake him up (and they must have been as trashed as me the night before).  He just said "Jason, there's some fcuking Scottish dude under your bed!!! What the fcuk are doing there?"  So I just had to say "Hiding" and made a sharp exit. Still wearing my pants and socks all the way up the road to my own apartment, at about 9am in a busy Spanish resort. Pretty damn stupid.

Recently (this doesn't involve alcohol) it was a casual day at work.  My manager was off, so I was at the update with all the other managers and our Ops manager.  I had pulled my black baggies out the tumble dryer and put them on that morning.  As I was sitting there discussing the work, I noticed something on the floor.  Picking it up,  I said "What's this??", unfortunately bringing everyone's attention to Lorna's little black thong, which had fallen out the bottom of my trouser leg.  It had been in my baggies when I put them on, but only fell out 2 hours later at this meeting.  My Ops Manager couldn't look at me without laughing his arse off and had to send back to my seat to carry on with the meeting.  He refused to lilsten to any kind of explanation as to why I had a little black thong in my trousers.  I had a red neck all day, one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

***flyingsaucersdisguisedasmushrooms***
***mushroomsinvadingfromouterspace***

So far I think Nitro wins for the one who payed the highest price for his stupidity.

I agree wholeheartedly, but the contest is more about telling the best story.

I rarely laugh out loud at things on the internet, and Emo had me in stitches. I would have killed to see that LOTR moment.

When I woke up, I was still under the bed in a room full of English guys. 

Stuart, I want you to know that if I ever wake up to you under my bed, I won't be as easygoing as those hung-over Brits...

"Hey Eddeh? Have yeh ever heard of a Rasberreh Ripple?".

So far I think Nitro wins for the one who payed the highest price for his stupidity.

Meh... what's 3 years...

I can re-apply in December next year. I'd hoped it would be sooner, but it has to be 5 years after the offense. I appealed against the decision, tried to explain etc... but they knocked it back and told me to re-apply. The only problem is that there's now a 4 years wait for new applicants... so my only real option is to get a work permit and find a job. I can work in the country now that my 'bound-over' period has expired... but i've been so busy in the past 6 months that i haven't had time to sort anything out.

I've also just bought a new apartment in the City Lofts building at Salford Quays in Manchester... i move in a week on Monday. It took forever to sell up in Yorkshire... and i had to drop the price by £20K, pay their stamp duty and agree to pay their mortgage for 6 months. It was a shitty deal, but the housing market is completely fucked at the moment and it'd been up for sale for eighteen months with next to zero interest.

I've been living in the Quays for about a year or so in a different building about a mile away from where i'm moving to. Apartments in the City Lofts building don't come up very often so i agreed to buy it 5 minutes after walking through the door on the first viewing. It's not ideally placed for work, but the BBC's Media City development is right accross the road and will be opening in the next 2 years. I could either get a job there or sell my apartment for significantly more than i'm paying for it. Either way, i can't lose out.

Anyway, i very nearly ended up in trouble again today while i was shopping in Leeds with my girlfriend. I was coming out of Harvey Nichols when i heard someone shouting in the street. There was a crowd gathering further up to my right, and i was going that way anyway... so i figured i'd check out what was going on. Now, in most UK cities you tend to get preachers spreading the word of God... just talking shit about how they can't understand why sodomy has been made legal etc...

Anyway, there was an overweight, white-haired, 60+ year old guy, chanting about how this country has gone down the shitter in the past 50 years... and a crowd which had gathered around him. Nobody was heckling him, they were all just taking it in and having a bit of a giggle. There was no aggression on show from anybody. I stood there for about 2 minutes taking this old guys harmless bullshit in, and then noticed 5 plain-clothes police officers making their way through the crowd... heading straight for this preacher. They weren't undercover cops, they were just an anti-shoplifting team who had obviously been asked to do something by one of the shop owners.

Anyway, they showed this guy their badges, took him to one side and asked him to move on. He wasn't having any of it. As far as he was concerned he could stand there all day and preach his little heart out. I'm not sure what the legal standpoint is but it certainly didn't ammount to public disturbance which it what they told him he could be arrested for. After a couple of minutes of arguing with him about his right to free speech they turned aggressive and forced him up against the window of a shop and handcuffed him. Then, out of nowhere appeared who i can only imagine was this guys son. He looked like he was in his mid thirties... had an old shirt on and a pair of old-fashioned grey trousers and the shiniest shoes i've ever seen. He was trying to find out what was going on and just wanted to know why the preacher was being arrested. But the cops didn;t want to know and were very aggressive towards him, telling him that if he didn't leave immediately he'd be arrested too. Before he could say anything one of the fat skinhead cops grabbed the guy by the throat from behind and forced him onto the ground, ...punched him in the head several times and turned him over onto his chest so that they could handcuff him. He wasn't struggling or even arguing at this point, it was all completely unnecessary.

I stood there looking at the faces in the crowd, wondering why nobody was doing anything. Thinking 'fuck it' i walked over to the police officer who looked like he was in charge and said "Excuse me, my friend runs that store overe there..." pointing at Envy just accross the street "...and everything... y'know, these heavy handed tactics you're utilizing to remove an old man from the street... for talking about God. It's all on camera. I think you'll be looking at a complaint from a bystander, and provided that those to guys..." motioning towards the preacher and his son "...are still unhappy about their treatment when they're released from custody... a complaint of police brutality".

He just looked at me as though to say 'are you fucking kidding me?'. Now i probably could have just left it and they'd have let the two guys go, but instead i said - nodding towards his collegues "Obviously the neo-Nazi look is in this season eh!?". I knew i'd fucked it right there and then. He advised me to move on, my girlfriend started pulling me away... and i left. I don't know what happened to the guys they arrested.

I fucking hate cops.

Had an affair with a married woman. :(

Terry Bogard - currently the most Unhelpful member of the Kikizo forums.

"...somebody top him. I'd hate to think I had to put all that work in on a faceplate for that guy."

Wha...HEY?!

Anyhow I guess I should throw in the fact that I have a permanant engagement ring tattooed on. After some four years of avoiding such thing I finally gave in to have it thrown in my face several months later. And it was a public proposal for fuck sake!

LOL I forgot about the engagement tattoo.  That IS pretty stupid.  I can't beat that.

"This is sad. There's no other word for it. The person who invents a way to punch someone in the face over the Internet will make millions from the demand generated by people like this." Youtube comments

Almost makes me wish I had it in me...hey then I could be Altair for halloween!

who the fuck cuts off their finger.

Someone with amatuer movie effects skills? I'd never do it myself but I almost did after a bad night of drinking.

If you cut off one of your fingers, make sure it's the ring finger.

"This is sad. There's no other word for it. The person who invents a way to punch someone in the face over the Internet will make millions from the demand generated by people like this." Youtube comments

Anyhow I guess I should throw in the fact that I have a permanantengagement ring tattooed on. After some four years of avoiding suchthing I finally gave in to have it thrown in my face several monthslater. And it was a public proposal for fuck sake!

Mass automatically wins. You should've just married her. Sure she would own half of you(assuming that she makes less than you, if not, then you would own half of her), but you wouldn't have a ring tattooed to your finger for eternity. You should just have your finger surgically removed, you know, it is the weakest and most useless finger anyway.

Terry Bogard


Had an affair with a married woman. :(

REALLY?  Wow, that's sooooo not you.  I've had a girl who was living with her boyfriend, but that's it.  I need to step it up!

Anyhow I guess I should throw in the fact that I have a permanantengagement ring tattooed on. After some four years of avoiding suchthing I finally gave in to have it thrown in my face several monthslater. And it was a public proposal for fuck sake!

Whine, whine, whine...

Joe Redifer

Terry Bogard


Had an affair with a married woman. :(

REALLY?  Wow, that's sooooo not you.  I've had a girl who was living with her boyfriend, but that's it.  I need to step it up!

LOLOL! I was young and dumb. I was 22 going on 23 in a couple months and she was 34.

You were in a high risk situation to getting with a girl who was living with her boyfriend.. Did he ever find out?

Terry Bogard - currently the most Unhelpful member of the Kikizo forums.

He always seems extraordinarily happy about everything so I assume not.  They just got engaged.

stfu Joe

OK

Nitro

Anyhow I guess I should throw in the fact that I have a permanantengagement ring tattooed on. After some four years of avoiding suchthing I finally gave in to have it thrown in my face several monthslater. And it was a public proposal for fuck sake!

Whine, whine, whine...

More like "Bitch bitch bitch" whining relates to crying and as far as I know I aint crying about it. And I bitch about it because I either have to wear something over it when I go out or be prepared to explain. Few hundred more dollars and I blend it into another tattoo later.

Anyways, has anyone ever tried Absinthe? Its sort of been legalized in the US tho its more of a watered down version I hear.

Yeah, but they cut out the wormwood extract for US production, or so I've heard. Not the same. Any reason anyone would have to drink absinthe spirits pretty well leaves, especially with higher proof liquor. Combine that with the fact that it's nowhere near as psychoactive as commonly believed.

I know it's been legalized in France & Spain for years though. Wonder what the formula is for that....

Nitro?

It's harder to get proper absinthe in France. You can get it, but it's less potent, ...but you can get most types in Spain. I don't think they imposed any regulations on it there. The strongest stuff i've had was from Spain. It was something like 85% abv...

I've had red absinthe in Greece, and black absinthe in the UK, but i'm not that keen on absinthe in general. I know people who've disolved acid tabs in it... which is fucking mental. I'd probably end up falling over my balcony if i did that ;)

Got married, how dumb is that!!!!

alijay FTW.

alijay034


Got married, how dumb is that!!!!

Life experience at a higher level ;)