Having to take a piss in the middle of the night while you were fast asleep.

You open your eyes a 3:00am and contemplate wheather or not you should go to the bathroom or try to fall back asleep and wait a few more hours. Knowing full well you won' t be able to fall asleep in this condition you decide to get out of bed in a pilgrimage to the bathroom. Except it won' t be that easy because you just woke up with a stiff one. Fuck. Ok, think unpleasant thoughts, think unpleasant thoughts. You build a mental image a fat, hairy, sweaty, man. Which works, you go to the bathroom and urinate. Upon return to your bed you fall back asleep with enough time to continue dreaming.

Unfortunately you don' t go back to the same pleasant dream you were having before hand. Oh, no instead you have a fucking nightmare about fat, hairy, sweaty man. Upon waking up you feel like shit, not rested at all.

Later that day you bump into a stranger who happens to be a fat, hairy, sweaty man. Before you can catch your bearings you sucker punch the poor f.uck as a reflex. I swear he looked just like the f.ucker in your dream. Who knew a fat guy whould bleed so much? After a failed attempt to calm him down the cops finally arrive when he decided to press charges. So they arrest you and bring you into the station for booking. Guess what. The cops...fat, hairy and sweaty.

Sitting in a jail cell you eagerly await your chance to call your brother so he can post bail. Suddenly you have this sinking feeling that one could only experience when sharing a cell with a fat, hairy, sweaty man. They call him Big Tom he said with a menacing smirk.

Finally they call your name and offer your phone call. Your brother picks up the phone, and it takes some convincing that you' re not joking. You really are in jail! He laughs (he was adopted), and explains that jail would be healthy for you. That' s it, he hung up. Bastard! Suddenly you have a thought that peirced your mind like a needle pricking a junkies arm. Your brother is one of them. A fat, hairy, sweaty man.

After seven gruelying weeks in jail your court date finally arrives. Before the fat, hairy and sweaty guards escort you out of jail, your cellmate Big Tom gives you a wink goodbye. Tom was kind enough to leave you with a souvenir. A custom designed " I <3 Big Tom" Tattoo, of which there are only 14 like it.

A glimmer of hope that has long been estinguished reignites as you sit impatiently in the court room, waiting for the judge. Everyone else is already seated. Your family looks at you with eyes of dissapointment. While your brother has the biggest smile in the room. You fantasize of ways to kill him.

" All rise" someone calls out. Yay the man of distinction has finally arrived. Oh F.UCK NO. Anything but this. God why, whyyyy! Not the Judge too!

I like the way Europeans speak english, i think its sexy.
Okay so maybe i' m a tad bias, and yeah Ghost, I can see why that would piss you off.
What pisses me off is when my sister uses up all but one g of my d/l limit for the month so my mum cuts it and says i just have to wait until next fucking month. So i' m online at a friends house. [:' (]

What kind of Nazi ISP has a download limit?

ya rly, wtf? I know some ISPs have secret lmiits (like 10 gigs per month) and if you pass the limit they' ll slow your connection down a lot, but you can solve this fairly easy by reseting your modem.

but you can solve this fairly easy by reseting your modem.

yeah well you' d think that there' d be something, but even if there is, i' m not allowed anywhere near the thing and i think mums been looking for an excuse to get me away from ' that thing' aka my computer, for ages. tss, she says i have no friends. Just because the easiest way to talk to them is over msn is irrelevant.
gah.

:)

yeah well you' d think that there' d be something, but even if there is, i' m not allowed anywhere near the thing and i think mums been looking for an excuse to get me away from ' that thing' aka my computer, for ages. tss, she says i have no friends. Just because the easiest way to talk to them is over msn is irrelevant.
gah.

:)

Slay her.

get your +5 orc sword from the closet and cast +10 luck, your mother should do whatever you want her to do then.

Ok, think unpleasant thoughts, think unpleasant thoughts. You build a mental image a fat, hairy, sweaty, man. Which works,

You missed a part. He needs to be cutting off his genitalia with a meat cleaver. Works like a charm.

What pissed me off lately?

Having the citywide school district on violent intruder lockdown for over 3 hours due to a " Mentally unstable man barricading himself in his home, resisting arrest, and threatening passerby with an assault-style weapon" a block from my classroom.

Doors locked, windows shut, crowded in corners with the least hygienic alarmists I' ve ever had the misfortune of meeting, smelling socks, ass, weed and hand sanitizer, I' m sitting there, all of which under the jurisdiction of an incredibly inept Romanian substitute who' s fifth language may have been English.

SWAT teams are called in with an armored car, snipers posted, and even the State Troopers are called in, all surrounding the house.

Meanwhile, I' m sitting there, playing with a friend' s iPod Touch, discussing loudly amongst my friends, who we' re going to duct-tape to a desk-chair as a sacrifice to the " violent intruder" , should he make it to the third floor social-science department. Finally, the lockdown is called off, after coming to the personal conclusion that Al-Qaeda itself had activated a sleeper cell, and had been firing mortars into Asscrack of Nowhere Michigan. Either way, back to business as normal.

Later that day, a good friend of mine runs up to me on the bus, wild eyed and shouts " IT WAS FUCKING BILL!" as loud as possible.

Bill is a mutual friend of ours, and is a recently unemployed ex-Dell worker, the father of a couple illegitimate children, a career criminal, and a six foot five heavy alcoholic.

Suffice to say, he' s an all around nice guy.

Now, according to the news report on the link below, at this time on Friday, it said the following:

" Mentally unstable man barricading himself in his home, resisting arrest, and threatening passerby with an assault-style weapon" .

The article' s changed, now that they know they made an ass of themselves, but on to what actually happened.

Bill used to work nights, so he sleeps during the day. He also drinks heavily during the day. So Bill, shitfaced, was out on his porch shooting birds with an air rifle.

After finishing off his beer, and shooting a couple birds, he went back inside and fell fast asleep in an alcoholic stupor. The police surrounded his house, called his phone and tried to reach him by bullhorn. Having drank copious amounts of alcohol, he slept through the whole ordeal.

He wakes up, gets another phonecall, and walks right out of the house, casual as could be.

The " full" story, and the news clip, complete with my buddy' s mum being interviewed at the LINK.

He needs to be cutting off his genitalia with a meat cleaver. Works like a charm.

My brother worked at a prison. A guy doing time for sexual assault on young girls refused to take meds to cure him of his addiction.

One morning he rang his bell, and when the guards opened the door he was holding both testical in his hands, cut out with a shank.

Did the guys that did it get double-portions at dinner?

Did the guys that did it get double-portions at dinner?

Hehe!

I dont think he got release though, probably held longer because of insanity

10 second ice-cream-truck jingles.

I dont think he got release though, probably held longer because of insanity

And the simple fact that there' s not much point in living a life on the outside without nuts.

I' ve always seen this thread but didn' t want to post in it because a lot of things piss me off.

One of them is accomplishing nothing at the end of the day...like today

...When you' ve been working your ass off trying to get a job to afford things you want, as well as pay for everyday life stuff, and, you finally get one after a few months... Then the day of your first shift.. wake up with the fucking flu.. or at least all of the symptoms.
Its either stay home and rest and lose the job
Or work a 6 hour shift feeling overwhelmingly sick, not to mention having to learn the ropes.. and on a fu.cking public holiday no less, so it was so fucking busy i just wanted to cry at times.

GAH.

Fast food place?

ORIGINAL: kitten

...When you' ve been working your ass off trying to get a job to afford things you want, as well as pay for everyday life stuff, and, you finally get one after a few months... Then the day of your first shift.. wake up with the ***ing flu.. or at least all of the symptoms.
Its either stay home and rest and lose the job
Or work a 6 hour shift feeling overwhelmingly sick, not to mention having to learn the ropes.. and on a fu.cking public holiday no less, so it was so ***ing busy i just wanted to cry at times.

GAH.

When I first got a job as a dealer in a casino, the day before I was to start I sliced my finger with a razor blade trying to remount my rear view mirror! Luckily, they just assigned me to some other tasks for a while (until the stitches came out, at least)!

You know what pisses me off? People being pissed off! Stop crying like a little baby! If you can do something to change it, then do it! If not, shut the f*ck up!

So, today, I was at Wal-mart and I picked up a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper. All of a sudden I turn the corner and a few little 8 year olds are doing the goddamn " soulja boy" dance, which for those of you who are lucky enough to not know what it is, here.One of them backed up right into me when I had the Dr. Pepper in one hand and it bounced 20 feet right in front of an old lady and busted all over her. Then I apologized(or tried anyway, she was fucking insane) and she asked me to exchange her groceries with new ones because they had soda on them. Normally I would have been nice(if she didn' t have 1 billion items anyway) and returned them, but I was in a hurry. They weren' t harmed anyway, so I just left, but when I tried to leave Wal-mart security and the owner basically started bitching at me and used little " We' re going to ban you from Wal-mart if you don' t help her" tactics, but I' m not that fucking stupid, so I just left.

Fast food place?

yeah actually it is.
i just pumped myself full of meds and went anyway. then realised it was a poblic holiday too, so it was crazy busy

ORIGINAL: kitten

Fast food place?

yeah actually it is.
i just pumped myself full of meds and went anyway. then realised it was a poblic holiday too, so it was crazy busy

I pity you.

I' d suggest finding something else. Sell your body or drugs or whatever... just not fast food.

whats wrong with a little fast food Nitro? i' m not mad about it but will buy some once in a while...