You are a 21st century New York bartender who gets kidnapped by Mossad. They need you to access the memories of one of your ancestors which are stored in your DNA. The ancestor in question was a member of an 11th century religious sect of Islamic Shia Muslims from the Nizari sub-sect originating from post-Islamic Persia. You see, there is a terrorist plot unfolding in the Al-Aqsa Mosque in Israel, where Israeli terrorists have taken Israelis civilians hostage and are holding them by force. Your task is to run around in your ancestors memories and find the " Secret Assassin' s Path" to the Mosque so that the Mossad can rescue the hostages.
What you don' t know is that the terrorists are after an AI simulation of Hitler, uploaded into a mechanical body. The terrorists want Mecha-Hitler because only he knows where the Holy Grail was hidden during the Second World War.
As you are running through your memories, Air Force One lands in the carpark of the Mossad DNA Memory Extraction Building and a SWAT commando team led by The President of The United States of The America assaults the building to rescue you. The president shoots the Mossad Agents hovering over you with his dual M1911s and tells you that they need you to keep looking for the secret passage, for it is the only way to stop Hitler from
Destroying The World With The Awesome Power Of The Holy Grail!!! Ten times more excited and powered up from shaking hands with The President, you plunge back into your DNA memory.
Cut to the Vatican, where The Pope is telling his cardinals that he has
" zenzed a great dizturbanze in ze Holee Spirit. Somebody eez after zee Holee Graeel!" They hop into the Popemobile and dock with the Popeplane, racing the Air Force One to Jerusalem!
As the commandos storm the mosque, you find out that Hitler has already fled! You chase him through a space-time DNA portal to the last day of WWII and fight hordes of vampire SS troopers as you, The President and The Pope finally reach Hitler at Castle Neuschwanstein. Hitler has just taken the Holy Grail out of the cupboard and all seems lost, when suddenly Jade Raymond crashes through the skylight, dressed as Trinity from Matrix, and snatches the Grail out of Hitler' s hands with her bullwhip.
Jade Raymond raises the Grail high above her head and summons Jesus. Jesus then brings peace to the Middle East and makes everything right. As Jade is handing the Grail - " the power of which is too great for any mortal hands" - to Jesus, Shiro and Saber break through the wall and an epic fight breaks out, during which the Grail is destroyed! The End!
And then you wake up. The End, Really!
And then the camera pans to the left and shows the Grail next to your alarm clock. " ...Or is it?" *Quick flash-cut of an assassin stabbing you in the head*, *roll credits to Linkin Park*, " Stay tuned for Assassin' s Creed 2: Manhattan. Out in 2009."
< Message edited by NITRO -- 11 Nov 07 17:57:08 >