BumFights

" I' m not finished talking to you"

" Yes you are"

" No I' m not"

" Yes you are"

" No I' m not"

Hey, joking does make things better, it makes everything seem... you know, not like life in general, which sucks. I am sure you' ll find someone that you' ll get along with better, maybe even bringing it close to lasting as long as... herpes?

Sorry, I couldn' t resists

Hmmm, i' ve been thinking...

When i was 14 (almost 10 years ago now) i met girl who was a friend of a friend. Strangely enough i actually mistook her for a guy as i initially saw her from behind and she had short spikey black hair.

Anyway, she was sat in the bus station with my friend, i went to say hello and we all ended up going out into town that night. I didn' t see her again for months, but after getting into an argument with my then girlfriends father i decided to take a long walk and collect my thoughts.

It was raining heavily. One of those really grey days where it isn' t cold and there' s no wind, but it rains really hard for hours on end. I walked a couple of miles and sat by the side of the road soaking wet through. Not long after i sat down i heard a voice i recognized but couldn' t quite place, so i turned around to see the friend of a friend who' d i' d mistaken for a guy.

She was on her way home from her boyfriends house and i decided to walk with her for a while. We ended up stopping in a pub on the way, got really drunk, went back to her parents house and because they were out ended up ***ing on the living room floor.

We didn' t talk about it, we didn' t tell anbody, we just got on with our lives as if nothing had ever happened. The only thing that did change is that she started hanging around with my friends and i more and more.

We went to seperate colleges, both in the same town and less than a 10 minute walk from one another. We had stayed in our respective pre-existing relationships and on the surface both seemed happy to one another. We never spent more than a couple of days apart, went abroad together, did everything together, as best friends do. We were nigh inseparable.

One day, afer four years of friendship, she turned up at my house and i knew, even before answering the door that something was wrong. Her parents had split up when she was very young and her mother had re-married, and it turned out that after trying to defuse and argument between her older sister and her stepfather he' d hit her several times and told her to leave. I left her with my mother and went around and broke his jaw.

She moved in with us for a while and our relationships suffered, but neither of us minded because within months we' d be going to two different universities. She went to a local university and moved in with her sister, while i went away. For the first year i saw her every weekend but then after suffering a nasty head injury i had to drop out due to missing so much of the 2nd year.

Instead of restarting i decided to go and work abroad. I ended up in France, staying there for just over a year before going to work in Spain for a few months. For the first 6 months i didn' t have much contact with her, just the occasional 3 hour phonecall. Then, on my 20th birthday she turned up unexpectedly, to tell me that she loved me.

I' d already met my current girlfriend at that point and after telling her that even though i felt the same way i didn' t think it was worth risking our friendship over... she went home. I stayed in France.

Upon returning to the UK i decided to go back to university and my girlfriend followed. We went to the same place but didn' t live together figuring we would both appreciate the space. But after a while i started to wonder whether i' d made the right choice. Sure i was happy, but i couldn' t help thinking " what if?" so i called her and she invited me to stay at her place for the weekend.

The same thing happened... we got drunk and ended up having sex... though it wasn' t on her parents living room floor and we did talk about it afterwards. These things never go smoothly... she had a boyfriend, she loved him, she wouldn' t leave him. He was a nice enough guy and he made her happy but i saw him as an enemy. He didn' t know what had happened, she never told him, but i wanted to.

Until about 7 or 8 months ago i had a minor obsession over her. I wouldn' t call it love and i put it down to wanting what i couldn' t have but my relationship with my girlfriend got pretty rocky for a while and she went to stay with her mother for a few months. I drink heavily anyway but it got worse and i said a lot of stuff whilst intoxicated that i wish i hadn' t. I managed to work everything out in my head, cut back on my drinking, got my shit together and moved back to my hometown with my girlfriend Lucy.

Last week my grandfather died, it' s his funeral tomorrow. I got a phonecall Thursday from Katie, the friend, asking me if i was ok and did i want to see her. I told her it was nice to hear from her but didn' t think it was appropriate given the circumstances etc... but she' s been calling non-stop since. The thing is, even after being so close to her for years, then falling for her and obsessing over her when i couldn' t have her... i really don' t want to see her. I just feel nothing now when i think about her. I don' t care anymore and i don' t know why.

Last week my grandfather died, it' s his funeral tomorrow.

Condolences for your grandfather. Were you close?
Maybe you' re in a comfortable relationship with Lucy, and since you haven' t had too much contact with Katie...

What do I know? I' ve never even had a girlfriend. I don' t think I' m the type that can support a relationship. I' m too volatile. I' ve had a few encounters, usually at parties. It looks like I' m about to pay dearly for one of them too. As I was saying to Torr while playing COD4 the other day. I got a call a few weeks ago from a girl I didn' t even recognize saying she had a child. She told me she thinks its mine.

I can' t sleep, I can' t eat, I' m losing it! The kid is already almost 8 months old and she apparently was trying to contact me for about a year. I only knew her for a few weeks so she didn' t have my number. She tried to contact some of my friends which I imagine would have been especially fustrating seeing as I practically have none.

She told me it could be a few guys so I need to take a paternity test. Which of course I would have insisted anyways. She seems convinced it' s me though. I don' t want to use the word " slutty" , because without girls like her I' d never get any. But you get the picture. I' ve never been so terrified in my life.

I said I' d pay for half of the test but I wanted to do it through a doctor. I' m not a sucker, I won' t to get scammed. She agreed, without hesitation. ***, I was really hoping this was a scam.

Finally I went to her place last Wednesday to see her doctor. When I got there, she was gone to the corner store, and I had the chance to speak to the girl' s mom for a few minutes. She was nice, very sympathetic. She told me that another guy already tested negative and there is another one that could be the father but doesn' t seem too keen on cooperating. Asshole.

Anyways, my nerves are ***ing shot. I can' t believe it takes so damn long for the results. It should be 24 hours max! It takes about 7-12 days the doctor told me! We' re supposed to know next week.

On the bright side, I' ve been playing a lot of Geometry Wars to take my mind off of the impending doom. I finally beat my arch nemesis Iad, whom I' ve been trying to knock off his pedestal for a while. Not only did I beat his 814,000+ mark but I passed the million mark.

Yes I' m desperately trying to put my mind on other things.

Last week my grandfather died, it' s his funeral tomorrow.

My condolences Nitro. I' ve lost my grandfather as well, so I know how hard that can be.

got a call a few weeks ago from a girl I didn' t even recognize saying she had a child. She told me she thinks its mine.

I really don' t know what to tell you. All I can really say is hang in there, though I know that' s probably not very reassuring. Specially these kinds of situations, which can just change your life completely in a matter of seconds. But whatever the results of the test may be, you need to be prepared for the worst and stand up to it and deal with it as best as you can.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

However I think you are doing the right thing in what you said about the circumstances. Without sounding like a condescending old fart, If it is meant to happen it will happen at the right time.

Last week my grandfather died

Im sorry to hear that. I lost my grandmother and my girlfriends grandmother in february the same week. We are both fresh out of grandparents, which is kinda sad since i was hoping my daughter would get to meet them too.

My moms parents are still alive, but my moms mom, is insane, and slapped up my mom when she was younger, and she never liked me, so we dont see them.

Life is full of surprises, 3 months ago i was ready to leave my girlfriend, but i get happier and happier with her everyday again, so thats just peachy!

Hey Agent man that kinda blows, sorry I haven' t been on to talk but if you ever want to talk send me a chat invite. I think I will go buy some MS points when I grab my new copy of COD4 and buy Geometry Wars. Hang in there and don' t kill yourself at least until you can tell us what the results are.

ORIGINAL: Agent Ghost

I don' t want to use the word " slutty" , because without girls like her I' d never get any. But you get the picture. I' ve never been so terrified in my life.

There' s nothing wrong with promiscuous sex, well until something like this happens ofcourse. But there' s a good chance that you' re not the father. I guess it depends on how active she was during that timeframe.

Do you know what this girl will want from you if you test positive?

I know you don' t want to think about it right now but you' re going to need some time to come to terms with everything eventually and the sooner the better. I' d be scared shitless too in the same situation... i hope to god the child isn' t yours.

In any event, you better not stop posting here. The only reason i' ve stayed so long is because of the few of you i can relate to

I know you dont believe in god agent . But i will pray that u test negative .

So anyone wanna go on a international crime spree?

I' m starting to lose a bit of my sanity now. I dunno if its the lack of food, sleep or maybe the blood loss from constant nose bleeds or a combo of it all plus the depression.

Anyways so a couple nights ago Im finishing up Call of Duty for the night and go do som dishes. I get them done and turn around and there she is a real as ever. it was 1:30 am but it made sence to me for her to be there it seemed normal. I sat on the couch and talked to her for about an hour. I grew tired and layed down with her between my arms. Her hand in mine felt just as I remembered it so long ago. Warm comforting she layed down and said good night. Then just like that she vanished. My hand dropped and I just lay there silent as my eyes began to water up. Then I went to sleep.

The next day I decided to go for a drive. At some point I blacked out or somthing when I came to I was parked in her driveway. I got out of there immediatly.

Now she popping up out the corner of my eye no matter where I am. Maybe it sjust wishful thinking manifesting itself. Either way i think I' m on the brink of insanity. The pains in my head are getting much sharper and much more common. If my medical insurance doesnt come thru soon Im perfoming surgery on myself dammit.

Shittiest fuckn holiday season ever.

Total sensory hallucination is no joke man. Go talk to your doctor at least, because that could take a turn for the worse (worse than your situation undoubtedly must be). There' s certain medical situations you can treat yourself. Hallucinating isn' t one of them.

Check your inbox.

Having a kid isnt the end of the world, depending ofcourse of how you look at it. She' ll probably want money which is shy shes been looking for you. It sucks but its just a bit of cash. though if you want to play a part in the childs growth, thats an entirely differnet story, but the goods in that definetly outweight the bad, though if you dont feel your up for the task, pay her child support, and then be on with yourlife

Though it would be easiest if you werent the father, ill cross my fingers for you!

If the kid is yours Agent what would you do?

I know its not very positive but its an result no matter how much you dont want it.

Total sensory hallucination is no joke man. Go talk to your doctor at least, because that could take a turn for the worse (worse than your situation undoubtedly must be). There' s certain medical situations you can treat yourself. Hallucinating isn' t one of them.

I agree with Eddy, check with your doctor and see what' s up.

Having a kid isnt the end of the world, depending ofcourse of how you look at it. She' ll probably want money which is shy shes been looking for you. It sucks but its just a bit of cash. though if you want to play a part in the childs growth, thats an entirely differnet story, but the goods in that definetly outweight the bad, though if you dont feel your up for the task, pay her child support, and then be on with yourlife

Though it would be easiest if you werent the father, ill cross my fingers for you!

Vx has a point. For all you know, maybe you would end up being happy if it turns out to be your kid. Still, whatever happens, just think things through and decide what you think would be the best way of facing everything. I am also crossing my fingers still.

There' s nothing wrong with promiscuous sex, well until something like this happens ofcourse. But there' s a good chance that you' re not the father. I guess it depends on how active she was during that timeframe.

I don' t think so. It seems like a coin flip. All I have to go by so far is the fact that there seems to be another lucky contestent for fatherhood (whom doesn' t even want to take the test I' m told). She insists he' s mine, but that could just be her fear that it' s the other guy. I also know that the three of us are all blood type O. Finally looking at the baby he looks like he could be mine judging based on appearance. Which is to say I have nothing concrete confirming or disproving anything.

Do you know what this girl will want from you if you test positive?

The same thing any sane mother would want from her childs father, support. I don' t even consider it a choice, if I' m the guy then that' s my new job.

Hang in there and don' t kill yourself at least until you can tell us what the results are.

I won' t kill myself, that' s largely why I' m so upset about all of this. No matter how shitty things get the one thought that is comforting was knowing I could always check out whenever I wanted. It' s only because, I understand the commitment and responsibility involved with having a child that I' m so shaken up. If he' s mine I' ll lose that option.

Vx has a point. For all you know, maybe you would end up being happy if it turns out to be your kid. Still, whatever happens, just think things through and decide what you think would be the best way of facing everything. I am also crossing my fingers still.

You don' t know me very well, I' m never happy. With me there is just unhappy and really miserable. Sometimes I' m lucky and feel indifferent. lol

If the kid is yours Agent what would you do?

Quit drinking for one thing. Get my drivers liscense, find a way to make more money. The quickest way to get a decent paying job for a guy in my position/location is to either get a desk job for the government. Starting salaries are about 40 000$ with plenty of room for advancement. If I can get in part time I might be able to send myself through University at the same time. I could double my salary if I finish. The other option I had in mind was to join the Canadian Armed Forces (don' t laugh), salaries are decent there too and has a large demand for more people. I' ll probably do one of these two things regardless of if he' s mine or not.

I would want to have my son every second week or something, I would play my part in actually caring for the kid. I grew up without a father and it wasn' t fun, it would be cruel to mearly sign some checks and ignor him. Besides if he' s mine I would actually want to raise him, make sure he doesn' t become a pansie or a Christian (lol sorry). Who knows maybe we could eventually move into an apartment together even if we had seperate rooms, it would make everything a lot easier if only to split the rent.

I know you dont believe in god agent . But i will pray that u test negative .

I appreciate the gesture, but somehow I don' t think that will do anything. Even if there was a god I don' t think he would change the kids father just for me. He would have to forge the test results too, it sounds really inconvienient for god. Besides why would he change his divine plans just because you prayed for something? Totall waste of time, thx anyways.

I' m starting to lose a bit of my sanity now. I dunno if its the lack of food, sleep or maybe the blood loss from constant nose bleeds or a combo of it all plus the depression.

Anyways so a couple nights ago Im finishing up Call of Duty for the night and go do som dishes. I get them done and turn around and there she is a real as ever. it was 1:30 am but it made sence to me for her to be there it seemed normal. I sat on the couch and talked to her for about an hour. I grew tired and layed down with her between my arms. Her hand in mine felt just as I remembered it so long ago. Warm comforting she layed down and said good night. Then just like that she vanished. My hand dropped and I just lay there silent as my eyes began to water up. Then I went to sleep.

The next day I decided to go for a drive. At some point I blacked out or somthing when I came to I was parked in her driveway. I got out of there immediatly.

Now she popping up out the corner of my eye no matter where I am. Maybe it sjust wishful thinking manifesting itself. Either way i think I' m on the brink of insanity. The pains in my head are getting much sharper and much more common. If my medical insurance doesnt come thru soon Im perfoming surgery on myself dammit.

Shittiest ***n holiday season ever.

I get auditory hallucinations on rare occasion. Usually its people calling out my name or chatter as if people are talking about me behind my back, even if I' m alone. It usually happens when I' m under a lot of stress and I' m really tired. Nothing like what you' re describing though.

I don' t know what to say, I' ve never been attached to anyone before. Relationships never last forever, infact nothing does. That' s why I don' t bother. Why swim against the current when you' ll drift out to sea anyways? My serious advice is to play some Geometry Wars Evolved. Best game ever made. It' s the only game that significantly reduces stress. That is once you really know how to play. I played last night, beat my personal best and I slept like a fucking baby. 1.2 million! I' m going to play some more actually.

In any event, you better not stop posting here. The only reason i' ve stayed so long is because of the few of you i can relate to

I' ll stay if you stay.

I would want to have my son every second week or something, I would play my part in actually caring for the kid. I grew up without a father and it wasn' t fun, it would be cruel to mearly sign some checks and ignor him. Besides if he' s mine I would actually want to raise him, make sure he doesn' t become a pansie or a Christian (lol sorry). Who knows maybe we could eventually move into an apartment together even if we had seperate rooms, it would make everything a lot easier if only to split the rent.

Happy or not, this shows me you are a good guy and deserve to be happy. Gosh, that sounded really sappy, didn' t it?

Ok well in this pit of blackness I have some news that should happen most of you. First I am getting a new COD4 disk and prolly MS points(costs being a factor) and picking up a refurbished HDD for Eddie and his newish 360 along with COD4 and a month of gold. So whether you like playing with me or not I believe all of you like Eddie.

Also Mass you seriously need to talk to someone, Thursday I will be on and you better be too. I' m thinking we play some COD4 and kick some peoples ass and hopefully get your mind off of her.

Agent you better be on Thursday as well, why must all of you have drama at once?

Seriously I hope this makes your day a bit better.

Now for comic relief.

The other option I had in mind was to join the Canadian Armed Forces (don' t laugh)

Dude become a mounty.

ou don' t know me very well, I' m never happy. With me there is just unhappy and really miserable. Sometimes I' m lucky and feel indifferent. lol

That is a lie Agent, I have seen/heard you happy when you were drunk and killing people on COD4, but other then that indifferent is the perfect word for your personality(with a f***load of cynicism and a lot of looking out for number 1).