' Our' Rules

We always hear " the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered
" 1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You' re a big girl. If it' s up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don' t hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It' s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That' s what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won' t dress like the Victoria' s Secret girls, don' t expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you' re fat, you probably are. Don' t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say " nothing," we will act like
nothing' s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don' t want an answer to, expect an answer you
don' t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

1. Don' t ask us what we' re thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don' t mind that? It' s like camping.

Dashing through the store,
on a three wheeled shopping cart
sliding across the floor
avoiding kids and pots

Reaching for the games,
and taking out my cash
oh what fun will i have today
before my brain cells crash

HEY!
couldnt fit

That was a good (if not sexist) laugh. Props.

I dont want to celebrate, I want to sell you hate.

Feel better Jabron?

Please...sexist? The world we live in is so freaking warped. If a man posts something like this it' s sexist, but then if a woman does the exact same it' s hugely funny. I have big problems with stuff like this. Sexist or not my opinion is that women don' t need to complain about much because they get a lot already. Women lib types are my enemy...don' t get me wrong, I' m not talking about a total conversion back to the 30' s where the woman was seen and not heard. There' s just a point where we' ve ***ing heard you and you can politely STFU.

END RANT

Funny post btw...

That was good...and true as can be...

I' m not sayin' that all women are like that, but many are...

Videogaming is the contemporary interactive pasttime.

that is really funny stuff Jabronibasher. that got to be one of the funniest thing i have read. if you got more stuff, i would like to read it.

After re-reading, let me be the first to say that I think this should become the ' Women' s Commandments' .

That means if a woman violates any of the rules, she has to be punished...in a GOD-like fashion, of course.

So what I now propose is that the men out there decide the actual punishment for each infraction.

And, for those ladies, I know I have seen a similar list about men...so, if one of you ladies would kindly post that here, the same could be done for the ' Mens' Commandments' ...complete with the punishments for each infraction.

Let the games begin...

Videogaming is the contemporary interactive pasttime.

interesting..

Wow...my post above makes me look like a huge asshole, lol. I' m pretty sure there was supposed to be a NOT in that sentence about converting back to the 30' s...near the beginning of the sentence.

In response to the following complaint I have decided to change my signature:

" by the way, yoshimitsu you might want to click the little checkbox that makes your signature disappear." -Jonah Shoemaker, Residential Dumbass

lol that makes so much more sense! glad you added that.. I was like ' whoah' ...

You should have seen me reading it. It was like I got punched in the stomach...and it' s been on here for so long. I' m kind of surprised the women here haven' t tried to get me banned by now.

In response to the following complaint I have decided to change my signature:

" by the way, yoshimitsu you might want to click the little checkbox that makes your signature disappear." -Jonah Shoemaker, Residential Dumbass

It' s not about being sexist (or not)...it' s about males' shared experiences...we can relate to the thread topic.

Hopefully the women will post that listing about men...like to see a little less judgement from the ladies about what the men are saying, and a whole lot of equality in the posts from those females (like to see the flip-side of the coin, ladies).

And I thought men were supposed to be the one' s who held in their feelings, and I' m a witness to the exact opposite here in this thread. Come on, ladies...let' s here more from ya' !!!

Videogaming is the contemporary interactive pasttime.

I completely agree with those rules. This is probably why I' ve never had a girlfriend.

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

you can agree with those rules and get a girlfriend. you probably wont be able to keep a girlfriend, but getttin one should be no harder.

I agree with some of the " rules" but not all as every one (men and women) is different.

My ex used to ALWAYS leave the toilet seat UP whereas I' d always put the seat down and close the lid. And she wasn' t the only one like that

Terry Bogard - currently the most Unhelpful member of the Kikizo forums.

Why would a girl leave the toilet seat up?

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "