I don' t have any " phobias" , where I' m actively afraid of something even when there it' s not present.
I do have fears and conserns:
Fear:
-Getting a chick pregnant is by far my number one consern. Having a kid along with the responsibilities that those little ***ers represent horrifies me. I really don' t understand why any sane person would actually want one. It' s like being grounded for the rest of your life. Having a child is worst than prison, worst than death. Having a child is the end of your freedom. A child is better at reducing your liberty than any boss or politician ever can hope to achieve.
Parents are always quick to point out that they love their children, but really who cares? That' s a biological response, nature dictates you have to love your children. That doesn' t mean they haven' t ruined your life, it doesn' t mean your lifestyle isn' t shit after having a child. Doing anything becomes less fun and more difficult with a kid.
Parenting=slavery.
I haven' t been with a girl since December (actually a bit longer) because the whole false alarm freaked me right the f.uck out. For a while I didn' t want to talk to any girls. I even missed out on March break opportunities
. Meh, shit happens I guess. I' m feeling better now. Especially since I have a clear direction in what I want to do with my life.
Consern:
My future is my biggest consern. This should be true for everyone, I imagine.
-Poverty. I still live with my mom so it' s not a huge consern for me at the moment. But I' m 22 and have to move out soon. So naturally I want to land a decent job where I' ll be able to support myself alone. I don' t want to have to rely on a roomate of girlfriend just to get by. Life isn' t worth living if your poor. Which is one of the reasons I don' t want kids, they cost an arm and a leg, and thats after you sell a kidney in the black market.
I don' t have the funds to send myself through University and I refuse to take out a loan. I don' t need the stress of debt. I know people in their 30s still trying to pay off their student loan. So I see no point in finishing my College Diploma when it' s useless on it' s own. Especially since I don' t want a desk job in the first place. I haven' t been smart with the decisions I' ve made so far, unfortunately. At least I had fun in College, and it' s all University credits that I have so I can still use them if I do go.
-Boredom.
I hate being bored. I can' t handle it at all. I would gladly end my life if I ever get hopelessly bored. I don' t like the daily grind, doing the same thing every day is f.ucking lame. Oh look it' s Friday, I' m doing the same shit I just did the last four days, and this week is like all the other ones. I don' t want to wait until the weekends before doing anything exciting.
With the intention of building my future and avoiding boredom like the plague I finally have the guts to do what has been in my thoughts for a few years now. In the fall I' m going to apply for the Army as a non-commissioned member (maybe I' ll try for an officer later). I' ll get the military to pay for University or some sort of training that I' ll be able to use as a civilian, once my five year commitment is expired. If I like it, I may stay and build a career in the Forces.
< Message edited by agent ghost -- 20 Apr 08 6:09:59 >