J Allard vs. Totally Xbox J Allard

Not sure if any of you have noticed the transition of J Allard from the beginning of the Xbox to the start of the Xbox 360 but I' ve found it quite hilarious. Here' s a pick of original J Allard-



Notice the balding semi pudgy face. He looks like an aging guy that' s got the dyed hair thing to try and look younger but it just looks funny with the whole poofy hair thing goin' . That with the lack of any decent effects or bump mapping even just makes him seem lacking for us cool gamer types.

I guess MS decided the old business type guy just wasn' t cool enough for the next gen. So now we have the new re-invented Totally xbox J Allard-



Look at the pixle shading and normal mapping on that! Completely redesigned from the ground up for the ultimate next-gen spokesman experiece, Totally Xbox J Allard is boasting over a Teraflop of power under that sleek new exterior. Complete with mutlilayered faceplates that are completely customizible, this version shows off the multilayered t-shirt, hoodie, and nice jacket limited E3 edition. You' ll see this on Ebay fo a couple hundred bucks!

You may be wondering how they keep this guy running cool with that much covering him. Look no further than the new water cooling system! It keeps him fully functional without breaking a sweat! This new version is also slimmer and and now has the smooth top look going for it. All of this greatness comes in high definition!

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

And unlike the original J Allard who ran at 30 fps with effects on, the Totally Xbox J Allard runs at a constant 60 fps with plenty of effects on.

Terry Bogard - currently the most Unhelpful member of the Kikizo forums.

I forgot to mention that Totally Xbox J Allard comes packaged with that stylish Xbox Live headset!

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

ORIGINAL: Terry Bogard

And unlike the original J Allard who ran at 30 fps with effects on, the Totally Xbox J Allard runs at a constant 60 fps with plenty of effects on.

The question is though, is this version running at full capacity or are we still looking at the model that only runs at 30%?

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

LoL thats awsome! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

The O.G. Jay Allard makes me want to check the stock market and read the editorial column in my newspaper.

The Totally Xbox J-AllRD makes me want to grab some air on my board hangin' a 720 and land on some sweet powder... that is when I' m not pimpin' it legit style with Xbox and Xbox360!

Fosho, Joe, fosho. Like I' ve totally found that Totally Xbox J Allard makes me want to hang out with friends and when I have him around my apartment is full of multi-ethnic people including some martial arts guy. for some reason the the dude from Geas of War keeps showing up which scares me. I' m scared of his gun.

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

The new J Allard just makes me want to yank out my Automatic of the People CD and sing out some " shiny happy people" .

It' s not " the new J Allard" , it' s the Totally Xbox J Allard. You just gotta have that ring to it.

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

How about J Allard360

How about... no. *Doctor Evil Style*

It' s definately Totally xbox J Allard.

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

pfft.... still jaggerific

It' s the E3 Totally Xbox J Allard. He' s still running on an older graphics card. Wait until the final version comes out. Then that mofo will be dishing out 4x AA. Talk about one smooth guy!

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

LOL. He' s definately coller than he was before. He' s also been using street style talk on tv lately.

Totally Xbox J Allard is THE BOMB!

Word

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

Move over Ving Rhames, Totally Xbox J Allard is set to be the next Kojak!

Terry Bogard - currently the most Unhelpful member of the Kikizo forums.

Man I' d like to see Reggie and 360 allard in an all out no holds barred smack-yo-ass and take your name slug fest. I don' t know who I ' d bet on, Reggie looks like he' s bigger, but 360 Allard looks like he' s a slippery devil!

Since there is no 360 Allard I don' t know how that would be possible. Now if Totally Xbox J Allard was in the fight, that would be tight.

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

360 Allard is what we call him up here in Canada. It' s lost in the translation somehow. Kind of like Chesterfield and Touqe.

I can' t wait until Totally Xbox J Allard stars in his own Xbox360 game! It will be rad and have skateboards and rap tunes and marijuana!

What are we going to do with you Canadians? Can' t you guys do anything right

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

You will join us and learn the ways of the chesterfield!!!!!! I can' t wait till 360 allard and Revolution Reggie get put in the next Rumble Roses game. Reggie in a thong. yikes.

If Reggie stars in his own game, it will surely be a Donkey Kong game.

ORIGINAL: Joe Redifer

I can' t wait until Totally Xbox J Allard stars in his own Xbox360 game! It will be rad and have skateboards and rap tunes and marijuana!

Marijuana?! Na man, he' s far to hip for that shiznit! He' s the new role model of our generation... the Next Generation aka the High Definition Generation! Na, he' ll be pimping some crazy sports stuff while driving a car blazing down a road that is constantly falling apart behind him. not to mention that the levels will have both fire and ice at the same time! the whole map will change every three seconds! Totally Xbox J Allard will also have a butt load of gadgets on hand and can go about his stylish adventures either with all out action or in super secret guys club stealth mode mania!

Dude, Totally Xbox J Allard will totally redefine gaming!

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

You think his game will outsell Halo 3?

Dude... it will sell 1 Billion copies world wide!

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

I think the creators of Totally Xbox J Allard watched a bit too much Smallville. Notice his fashion sense? reminds me of someone.

Totally Xbox J Allard is far too cool for Smallville. That' s just plain old tv, nobody watches it anymore. Totally Xbox J Allard is so the man.

XBL Gamertag: Rampage99

" Basically, pollute the air all you want, your just speeding up the inevitable. Our future generations are f*cked as it is and there' s really nothing we can do about it. Have a nice day "

Totally Xbox J Allard Luthor, hehe

Terry Bogard - currently the most Unhelpful member of the Kikizo forums.

btw, is " Totally" in " Totally Xbox J Allard" supposed to be pronounced " Tewwwdlly" ?

btw, is " Totally" in " Totally Xbox J Allard" supposed to be pronounced " Tewwwdlly"

Man that made me laugh, and I don' t often laugh at my computer! I' ll never look at these tewwwwwdllly Xbox J Allard threads the same again. In fact I may give up being stubborn and calling him J Allard 360 Just so I can say Tewwwwwwdly. There, did it again, tewwwwwwdly!!!!!