Why do people just stop caring?

BumFights

" I' m not finished talking to you"

" Yes you are"

" No I' m not"

" Yes you are"

" No I' m not"

Hey, joking does make things better, it makes everything seem... you know, not like life in general, which sucks. I am sure you' ll find someone that you' ll get along with better, maybe even bringing it close to lasting as long as... herpes?

Sorry, I couldn' t resists

Hmmm, i' ve been thinking...

When i was 14 (almost 10 years ago now) i met girl who was a friend of a friend. Strangely enough i actually mistook her for a guy as i initially saw her from behind and she had short spikey black hair.

Anyway, she was sat in the bus station with my friend, i went to say hello and we all ended up going out into town that night. I didn' t see her again for months, but after getting into an argument with my then girlfriends father i decided to take a long walk and collect my thoughts.

It was raining heavily. One of those really grey days where it isn' t cold and there' s no wind, but it rains really hard for hours on end. I walked a couple of miles and sat by the side of the road soaking wet through. Not long after i sat down i heard a voice i recognized but couldn' t quite place, so i turned around to see the friend of a friend who' d i' d mistaken for a guy.

She was on her way home from her boyfriends house and i decided to walk with her for a while. We ended up stopping in a pub on the way, got really drunk, went back to her parents house and because they were out ended up ***ing on the living room floor.

We didn' t talk about it, we didn' t tell anbody, we just got on with our lives as if nothing had ever happened. The only thing that did change is that she started hanging around with my friends and i more and more.

We went to seperate colleges, both in the same town and less than a 10 minute walk from one another. We had stayed in our respective pre-existing relationships and on the surface both seemed happy to one another. We never spent more than a couple of days apart, went abroad together, did everything together, as best friends do. We were nigh inseparable.

One day, afer four years of friendship, she turned up at my house and i knew, even before answering the door that something was wrong. Her parents had split up when she was very young and her mother had re-married, and it turned out that after trying to defuse and argument between her older sister and her stepfather he' d hit her several times and told her to leave. I left her with my mother and went around and broke his jaw.

She moved in with us for a while and our relationships suffered, but neither of us minded because within months we' d be going to two different universities. She went to a local university and moved in with her sister, while i went away. For the first year i saw her every weekend but then after suffering a nasty head injury i had to drop out due to missing so much of the 2nd year.

Instead of restarting i decided to go and work abroad. I ended up in France, staying there for just over a year before going to work in Spain for a few months. For the first 6 months i didn' t have much contact with her, just the occasional 3 hour phonecall. Then, on my 20th birthday she turned up unexpectedly, to tell me that she loved me.

I' d already met my current girlfriend at that point and after telling her that even though i felt the same way i didn' t think it was worth risking our friendship over... she went home. I stayed in France.

Upon returning to the UK i decided to go back to university and my girlfriend followed. We went to the same place but didn' t live together figuring we would both appreciate the space. But after a while i started to wonder whether i' d made the right choice. Sure i was happy, but i couldn' t help thinking " what if?" so i called her and she invited me to stay at her place for the weekend.

The same thing happened... we got drunk and ended up having sex... though it wasn' t on her parents living room floor and we did talk about it afterwards. These things never go smoothly... she had a boyfriend, she loved him, she wouldn' t leave him. He was a nice enough guy and he made her happy but i saw him as an enemy. He didn' t know what had happened, she never told him, but i wanted to.

Until about 7 or 8 months ago i had a minor obsession over her. I wouldn' t call it love and i put it down to wanting what i couldn' t have but my relationship with my girlfriend got pretty rocky for a while and she went to stay with her mother for a few months. I drink heavily anyway but it got worse and i said a lot of stuff whilst intoxicated that i wish i hadn' t. I managed to work everything out in my head, cut back on my drinking, got my shit together and moved back to my hometown with my girlfriend Lucy.

Last week my grandfather died, it' s his funeral tomorrow. I got a phonecall Thursday from Katie, the friend, asking me if i was ok and did i want to see her. I told her it was nice to hear from her but didn' t think it was appropriate given the circumstances etc... but she' s been calling non-stop since. The thing is, even after being so close to her for years, then falling for her and obsessing over her when i couldn' t have her... i really don' t want to see her. I just feel nothing now when i think about her. I don' t care anymore and i don' t know why.

Last week my grandfather died, it' s his funeral tomorrow.

Condolences for your grandfather. Were you close?
Maybe you' re in a comfortable relationship with Lucy, and since you haven' t had too much contact with Katie...

What do I know? I' ve never even had a girlfriend. I don' t think I' m the type that can support a relationship. I' m too volatile. I' ve had a few encounters, usually at parties. It looks like I' m about to pay dearly for one of them too. As I was saying to Torr while playing COD4 the other day. I got a call a few weeks ago from a girl I didn' t even recognize saying she had a child. She told me she thinks its mine.

I can' t sleep, I can' t eat, I' m losing it! The kid is already almost 8 months old and she apparently was trying to contact me for about a year. I only knew her for a few weeks so she didn' t have my number. She tried to contact some of my friends which I imagine would have been especially fustrating seeing as I practically have none.

She told me it could be a few guys so I need to take a paternity test. Which of course I would have insisted anyways. She seems convinced it' s me though. I don' t want to use the word " slutty" , because without girls like her I' d never get any. But you get the picture. I' ve never been so terrified in my life.

I said I' d pay for half of the test but I wanted to do it through a doctor. I' m not a sucker, I won' t to get scammed. She agreed, without hesitation. ***, I was really hoping this was a scam.

Finally I went to her place last Wednesday to see her doctor. When I got there, she was gone to the corner store, and I had the chance to speak to the girl' s mom for a few minutes. She was nice, very sympathetic. She told me that another guy already tested negative and there is another one that could be the father but doesn' t seem too keen on cooperating. Asshole.

Anyways, my nerves are ***ing shot. I can' t believe it takes so damn long for the results. It should be 24 hours max! It takes about 7-12 days the doctor told me! We' re supposed to know next week.

On the bright side, I' ve been playing a lot of Geometry Wars to take my mind off of the impending doom. I finally beat my arch nemesis Iad, whom I' ve been trying to knock off his pedestal for a while. Not only did I beat his 814,000+ mark but I passed the million mark.

Yes I' m desperately trying to put my mind on other things.

Last week my grandfather died, it' s his funeral tomorrow.

My condolences Nitro. I' ve lost my grandfather as well, so I know how hard that can be.

got a call a few weeks ago from a girl I didn' t even recognize saying she had a child. She told me she thinks its mine.

I really don' t know what to tell you. All I can really say is hang in there, though I know that' s probably not very reassuring. Specially these kinds of situations, which can just change your life completely in a matter of seconds. But whatever the results of the test may be, you need to be prepared for the worst and stand up to it and deal with it as best as you can.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

However I think you are doing the right thing in what you said about the circumstances. Without sounding like a condescending old fart, If it is meant to happen it will happen at the right time.

Last week my grandfather died

Im sorry to hear that. I lost my grandmother and my girlfriends grandmother in february the same week. We are both fresh out of grandparents, which is kinda sad since i was hoping my daughter would get to meet them too.

My moms parents are still alive, but my moms mom, is insane, and slapped up my mom when she was younger, and she never liked me, so we dont see them.

Life is full of surprises, 3 months ago i was ready to leave my girlfriend, but i get happier and happier with her everyday again, so thats just peachy!

Hey Agent man that kinda blows, sorry I haven' t been on to talk but if you ever want to talk send me a chat invite. I think I will go buy some MS points when I grab my new copy of COD4 and buy Geometry Wars. Hang in there and don' t kill yourself at least until you can tell us what the results are.

ORIGINAL: Agent Ghost

I don' t want to use the word " slutty" , because without girls like her I' d never get any. But you get the picture. I' ve never been so terrified in my life.

There' s nothing wrong with promiscuous sex, well until something like this happens ofcourse. But there' s a good chance that you' re not the father. I guess it depends on how active she was during that timeframe.

Do you know what this girl will want from you if you test positive?

I know you don' t want to think about it right now but you' re going to need some time to come to terms with everything eventually and the sooner the better. I' d be scared shitless too in the same situation... i hope to god the child isn' t yours.

In any event, you better not stop posting here. The only reason i' ve stayed so long is because of the few of you i can relate to

I know you dont believe in god agent . But i will pray that u test negative .

So anyone wanna go on a international crime spree?

I' m starting to lose a bit of my sanity now. I dunno if its the lack of food, sleep or maybe the blood loss from constant nose bleeds or a combo of it all plus the depression.

Anyways so a couple nights ago Im finishing up Call of Duty for the night and go do som dishes. I get them done and turn around and there she is a real as ever. it was 1:30 am but it made sence to me for her to be there it seemed normal. I sat on the couch and talked to her for about an hour. I grew tired and layed down with her between my arms. Her hand in mine felt just as I remembered it so long ago. Warm comforting she layed down and said good night. Then just like that she vanished. My hand dropped and I just lay there silent as my eyes began to water up. Then I went to sleep.

The next day I decided to go for a drive. At some point I blacked out or somthing when I came to I was parked in her driveway. I got out of there immediatly.

Now she popping up out the corner of my eye no matter where I am. Maybe it sjust wishful thinking manifesting itself. Either way i think I' m on the brink of insanity. The pains in my head are getting much sharper and much more common. If my medical insurance doesnt come thru soon Im perfoming surgery on myself dammit.

Shittiest fuckn holiday season ever.

Total sensory hallucination is no joke man. Go talk to your doctor at least, because that could take a turn for the worse (worse than your situation undoubtedly must be). There' s certain medical situations you can treat yourself. Hallucinating isn' t one of them.

Check your inbox.

Having a kid isnt the end of the world, depending ofcourse of how you look at it. She' ll probably want money which is shy shes been looking for you. It sucks but its just a bit of cash. though if you want to play a part in the childs growth, thats an entirely differnet story, but the goods in that definetly outweight the bad, though if you dont feel your up for the task, pay her child support, and then be on with yourlife

Though it would be easiest if you werent the father, ill cross my fingers for you!

If the kid is yours Agent what would you do?

I know its not very positive but its an result no matter how much you dont want it.

Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.

Viva La Revolution! erm, I mean Viva La Wii!

Total sensory hallucination is no joke man. Go talk to your doctor at least, because that could take a turn for the worse (worse than your situation undoubtedly must be). There' s certain medical situations you can treat yourself. Hallucinating isn' t one of them.

I agree with Eddy, check with your doctor and see what' s up.

Having a kid isnt the end of the world, depending ofcourse of how you look at it. She' ll probably want money which is shy shes been looking for you. It sucks but its just a bit of cash. though if you want to play a part in the childs growth, thats an entirely differnet story, but the goods in that definetly outweight the bad, though if you dont feel your up for the task, pay her child support, and then be on with yourlife

Though it would be easiest if you werent the father, ill cross my fingers for you!

Vx has a point. For all you know, maybe you would end up being happy if it turns out to be your kid. Still, whatever happens, just think things through and decide what you think would be the best way of facing everything. I am also crossing my fingers still.

There' s nothing wrong with promiscuous sex, well until something like this happens ofcourse. But there' s a good chance that you' re not the father. I guess it depends on how active she was during that timeframe.

I don' t think so. It seems like a coin flip. All I have to go by so far is the fact that there seems to be another lucky contestent for fatherhood (whom doesn' t even want to take the test I' m told). She insists he' s mine, but that could just be her fear that it' s the other guy. I also know that the three of us are all blood type O. Finally looking at the baby he looks like he could be mine judging based on appearance. Which is to say I have nothing concrete confirming or disproving anything.

Do you know what this girl will want from you if you test positive?

The same thing any sane mother would want from her childs father, support. I don' t even consider it a choice, if I' m the guy then that' s my new job.

Hang in there and don' t kill yourself at least until you can tell us what the results are.

I won' t kill myself, that' s largely why I' m so upset about all of this. No matter how shitty things get the one thought that is comforting was knowing I could always check out whenever I wanted. It' s only because, I understand the commitment and responsibility involved with having a child that I' m so shaken up. If he' s mine I' ll lose that option.

Vx has a point. For all you know, maybe you would end up being happy if it turns out to be your kid. Still, whatever happens, just think things through and decide what you think would be the best way of facing everything. I am also crossing my fingers still.

You don' t know me very well, I' m never happy. With me there is just unhappy and really miserable. Sometimes I' m lucky and feel indifferent. lol

If the kid is yours Agent what would you do?

Quit drinking for one thing. Get my drivers liscense, find a way to make more money. The quickest way to get a decent paying job for a guy in my position/location is to either get a desk job for the government. Starting salaries are about 40 000$ with plenty of room for advancement. If I can get in part time I might be able to send myself through University at the same time. I could double my salary if I finish. The other option I had in mind was to join the Canadian Armed Forces (don' t laugh), salaries are decent there too and has a large demand for more people. I' ll probably do one of these two things regardless of if he' s mine or not.

I would want to have my son every second week or something, I would play my part in actually caring for the kid. I grew up without a father and it wasn' t fun, it would be cruel to mearly sign some checks and ignor him. Besides if he' s mine I would actually want to raise him, make sure he doesn' t become a pansie or a Christian (lol sorry). Who knows maybe we could eventually move into an apartment together even if we had seperate rooms, it would make everything a lot easier if only to split the rent.

I know you dont believe in god agent . But i will pray that u test negative .

I appreciate the gesture, but somehow I don' t think that will do anything. Even if there was a god I don' t think he would change the kids father just for me. He would have to forge the test results too, it sounds really inconvienient for god. Besides why would he change his divine plans just because you prayed for something? Totall waste of time, thx anyways.

I' m starting to lose a bit of my sanity now. I dunno if its the lack of food, sleep or maybe the blood loss from constant nose bleeds or a combo of it all plus the depression.

Anyways so a couple nights ago Im finishing up Call of Duty for the night and go do som dishes. I get them done and turn around and there she is a real as ever. it was 1:30 am but it made sence to me for her to be there it seemed normal. I sat on the couch and talked to her for about an hour. I grew tired and layed down with her between my arms. Her hand in mine felt just as I remembered it so long ago. Warm comforting she layed down and said good night. Then just like that she vanished. My hand dropped and I just lay there silent as my eyes began to water up. Then I went to sleep.

The next day I decided to go for a drive. At some point I blacked out or somthing when I came to I was parked in her driveway. I got out of there immediatly.

Now she popping up out the corner of my eye no matter where I am. Maybe it sjust wishful thinking manifesting itself. Either way i think I' m on the brink of insanity. The pains in my head are getting much sharper and much more common. If my medical insurance doesnt come thru soon Im perfoming surgery on myself dammit.

Shittiest ***n holiday season ever.

I get auditory hallucinations on rare occasion. Usually its people calling out my name or chatter as if people are talking about me behind my back, even if I' m alone. It usually happens when I' m under a lot of stress and I' m really tired. Nothing like what you' re describing though.

I don' t know what to say, I' ve never been attached to anyone before. Relationships never last forever, infact nothing does. That' s why I don' t bother. Why swim against the current when you' ll drift out to sea anyways? My serious advice is to play some Geometry Wars Evolved. Best game ever made. It' s the only game that significantly reduces stress. That is once you really know how to play. I played last night, beat my personal best and I slept like a fucking baby. 1.2 million! I' m going to play some more actually.

In any event, you better not stop posting here. The only reason i' ve stayed so long is because of the few of you i can relate to

I' ll stay if you stay.

I would want to have my son every second week or something, I would play my part in actually caring for the kid. I grew up without a father and it wasn' t fun, it would be cruel to mearly sign some checks and ignor him. Besides if he' s mine I would actually want to raise him, make sure he doesn' t become a pansie or a Christian (lol sorry). Who knows maybe we could eventually move into an apartment together even if we had seperate rooms, it would make everything a lot easier if only to split the rent.

Happy or not, this shows me you are a good guy and deserve to be happy. Gosh, that sounded really sappy, didn' t it?

Ok well in this pit of blackness I have some news that should happen most of you. First I am getting a new COD4 disk and prolly MS points(costs being a factor) and picking up a refurbished HDD for Eddie and his newish 360 along with COD4 and a month of gold. So whether you like playing with me or not I believe all of you like Eddie.

Also Mass you seriously need to talk to someone, Thursday I will be on and you better be too. I' m thinking we play some COD4 and kick some peoples ass and hopefully get your mind off of her.

Agent you better be on Thursday as well, why must all of you have drama at once?

Seriously I hope this makes your day a bit better.

Now for comic relief.

The other option I had in mind was to join the Canadian Armed Forces (don' t laugh)

Dude become a mounty.

ou don' t know me very well, I' m never happy. With me there is just unhappy and really miserable. Sometimes I' m lucky and feel indifferent. lol

That is a lie Agent, I have seen/heard you happy when you were drunk and killing people on COD4, but other then that indifferent is the perfect word for your personality(with a f***load of cynicism and a lot of looking out for number 1).

quote:

I know you dont believe in god agent . But i will pray that u test negative .


I appreciate the gesture, but somehow I don' t think that will do anything. Even if there was a god I don' t think he would change the kids father just for me. He would have to forge the test results too, it sounds really inconvienient for god. Besides why would he change his divine plans just because you prayed for something? Totall waste of time, thx anyways.

Who says he' d change anything?

I' m not going to pray for a specific outcome. I pray that whatever happens, you' ll find some small measure of happiness out of it. If that means you test negative, & go back to life as normal, fine. If that means you test positive, and find joy in raising a son, that' s fine too.

(stuffs inner-christian back in box)

I don' t know what to say, I' ve never been attached to anyone before. Relationships never last forever, infact nothing does. That' s why I don' t bother. Why swim against the current when you' ll drift out to sea anyways?

Ah, I have a hard time believing that. That' s like not bothering to play your 360 because you know it' s going to die eventually. You know your parents & grandparents are going to die before you, so why bother getting attached?

" No man is an island, entire of itself"

(Don' t worry, that' s John Donne, not the bible.)

My serious advice is to play some Geometry Wars Evolved. Best game ever made. It' s the only game that significantly reduces stress. That is once you really know how to play. I played last night, beat my personal best and I slept like a ***ing baby. 1.2 million! I' m going to play some more actually.

Really? I considered downloading it on a whim, but never did get around to it. Is it honestly that good? I can' t imagine finding it stress reducing unless it' s got a really slow difficulty curve. I personally prefer Marble-Blast Ultra. I find it therapeutic to be honest. I spend half of my time hopping around careening off of cliffs, & rarely bother with the actual objectives, but the downhill levels are a lot of fun to just kick back & screw around with.

It doesn' t help me calm down any, if anything I get a smidge more intense, but I' ve found that playing a good shooter cheers me up quite a bit. I can be pissed at terrorists, or Nazis or Soviets or zombies, and I always come out better off than they are. I' m still angry/sad/depressed, but it helps me channel it into something constructive instead of wallowing.

Quit drinking for one thing.

Huh. I haven' t ever known an Agent that didn' t drink (of course). Quitting would be the best thing for you, but it' s going to be odd not having the occasional wasted post on Kikizo. Ah well, some of the other resident boozers will have to pick up your slack.

Get my drivers liscense, find a way to make more money.

Do you live in an area with good mass transit? Buses & subways & all that? Living in " Motor City" , public transportation here' s a joke, but if I could grab a bus to work or classes instead of driving, I' d definitely do it.

The other option I had in mind was to join the Canadian Armed Forces (don' t laugh), salaries are decent there too and has a large demand for more people. I' ll probably do one of these two things regardless of if he' s mine or not.

I' ve got an acquaintance in the CAF, & he' s really happy with it (which is surprising, he' s not the military type). It certainly pays well.

I pray that whatever happens, you' ll find some small measure of happiness out of it.

It looks like praying makes you happy the same way that alcohol makes me happy. Escapism. Meditation is probably more effective than either these things but I don' t have the patience to meditate properly.

I' m not going to pray for a specific outcome.

Maybe you don' t but a lot of people do, some will even attribute their success to god.

That' s like not bothering to play your 360 because you know it' s going to die eventually. You know your parents & grandparents are going to die before you, so why bother getting attached?

The difference between a person and my 360 is that my 360 isn' t any trouble for me. Sure it' s a piece of junk where I have to press power three times to turn it on and I have to press the tray to open it, but that' s nothing. Besides I don' t get attached to my 360. When it dies I buy another one. I' m attached to gaming but that' s not going anywhere anytime soon. Furthermore, I' m in complete control over my relationship between myself and gaming. Gaming won' t die, I decide when I' m done with it, and when/where I want it.

As for my parents, I didn' t choose them. I didn' t design society where children need parents to survive. I didn' t have much choice but to have them, infact I needed them growing up. That' s really what I' m getting at here. I don' t want to have to need someone to survive, I don' t want to be grounded anywhere. I want the freedom to move, eat, sleep and *** where ever and whenever I please. Infact I was thinking of moving to another province in a few years. Maybe Vancouver or Calgary. If the kid is mine pfff, that plan goes out the ***ing window. I' ll be stuck here for a long time.

To be honest I' m not really attached to my family either. As long as they pass with their will in order and their life insurance is paid up, I can accept inevitability. I' m well aware of how short life is, it just feels long. Don' t get me wrong I enjoy their company in reasonable doses. But I don' t miss people, and I don' t get lonely. I' m very self aware, I understand myself perfectly. I' m one of those one in a million that would be able to live alone on a deserted island for the rest of my days. As long as I had the basics.

Geometry Wars is absolutely my favorite game, it' s the reason I still have my sanity since I got the phone call. At first you hit a wall, the game seems impossible. First of all forget about the demo, just buy the game. Secondly don' t worry about someone elses high score. Just play to beat your own best. Just play a bit every few days and eventually you learn how to play. It' s easy to learn but difficult to master. But it' s one of those games where practice really pays off. Just watch a few YouTube videos of people getting a high score and they look like gods until you do it yourself. It' s very gratifying. Iad Umboros had my high score beat for over a year and after finally surpassing him I' m now second on my friends list. I' m going after this guy named Red Dragon who has 2 million. Which is almost double my score. But the score adds up exponentially as you have more enemies on screen so the multiplier increases faster. So the guy a 500 million isn' t as far as he looks.

These two comments! They make me think the way you are living your life isnt really working out for you!

You don' t know me very well, I' m never happy. With me there is just unhappy and really miserable. Sometimes I' m lucky and feel indifferent

As for my parents, I didn' t choose them. I didn' t design society where children need parents to survive. I didn' t have much choice but to have them, infact I needed them growing up. That' s really what I' m getting at here. I don' t want to have to need someone to survive, I don' t want to be grounded anywhere. I want the freedom to move, eat, sleep and *** where ever and whenever I please. Infact I was thinking of moving to another province in a few years. Maybe Vancouver or Calgary. If the kid is mine pfff, that plan goes out the ***ing window. I' ll be stuck here for a long time.

To be honest I' m not really attached to my family either. As long as they pass with their will in order and their life insurance is paid up, I can accept inevitability. I' m well aware of how short life is, it just feels long. Don' t get me wrong I enjoy their company in reasonable doses. But I don' t miss people, and I don' t get lonely. I' m very self aware, I understand myself perfectly. I' m one of those one in a million that would be able to live alone on a deserted island for the rest of my days. As long as I had the basics.

I do understand some of what you mean. But if your so unhappy and misserable what makes you think continuing in the same way will actually change anything?

You get one chance of a life, if you spend it being miserable all the time, that would be sad.

I know you believe (as i do) that life on earth is a string of accidents and coincidents, that we have no higher purpose. I believe we have one purpose, to make ourselves happy and be the best we can be, whether you do it for yourself or someone else doesnt really matter. But dont turn out the lights with a single regret in your mind, because regret is the most useless emotion.

I agree with Vx. You can' t just live your life like this. And you may think that being alone doesn' t really affect you and that you could live without other people, but I don' t think you should think like this either. Being alone does affect someone, as much as we might not like it sometimes, we do need one another.

I disagree when you say happiness is the purpose of life. Survival is the purpose of life. Happiness is mearly one mechanism of survival, it works much like fear (although the motivations are completely different). I view happiness as the relief of pain. In order to avoid pain we must be more productive towards goals related to survival. Happiness is the reward for the rat race. The purpose is the race not the cheese. Life really is that simple.

Depression is when you feel inadequate in obtaining the cheese, true depression is when you stop wanting the cheese all together. That' s how I feel, most things that people want simply do not interest me. I' m only left with the comfort that none of this will last long anyways.

I' m not completely miserable, it' s not a severe emotion that cripples me. I' m just extremely bored with everything.

Maybe you' re lactose intolerant?

Happiness is mearly one mechanism of survival,

I believe that humans have advanced beyond the point that life is just about survival, i dont have to duck away from ravaging bands of slavers or what ever people had to do to survive in the dawn of time.

You create your own purpose in life, and to not have a purpose or a goal to simple drift is silly if you say your bored with everything.

You cant be bored with everything unless you' ve tried everything.

Iv tried being in your situation, no goal except the next brief relief through parties, drinks or gaming.

Dont wait till your dead to discover that there was something you needed or wanted in life.

I believe that humans have advanced beyond the point that life is just about survival, i dont have to duck away from ravaging bands of slavers or what ever people had to do to survive in the dawn of time.

I believe most people have to see it your way in order to have gotten this far. Humanity is supposed to be conditioned to have a different view on life than what I have. I' m sure happy people look at life through a subjective lens (wheather they know it or not), where as I look at objective reality before even considering myself. The fact remains everything relates to survival. Even if what we' re doing is counter productive everything we do is related to survival somehow. It' s the only reason we' re here. Which is a rather pointless enterprise considering the probability of death.

It' s like being in a cinema with a 3D movie playing and I' m the only one without the 3d glasses. It' s the mystery of the illusion that makes it worth anything. All I see are red and blue lines.

Maybe you' re lactose intolerant?

I' ll ask my Doctor.

I believe most people have to see it your way in order to have gotten this far. Humanity is supposed to be conditioned to have a different view on life than what I have. I' m sure happy people look at life through a subjective lens (wheather they know it or not), where as I look at objective reality before even considering myself. The fact remains everything relates to survival. Even if what we' re doing is counter productive everything we do is related to survival somehow. It' s the only reason we' re here. Which is a rather pointless enterprise considering the probability of death.

It' s like being in a cinema with a 3D movie playing and I' m the only one without the 3d glasses. It' s the mystery of the illusion that makes it worth anything. All I see are red and blue lines.

Your certainly right that there is no purpose with life except survival. Not in lifes true nature, its a brief glimpse and its all you get! You will be gone as if you never even existed.

You can spend life being miserable or you can pull your finger out of your ass and do something about it.

Everything in life is a choice, and if you choose to be miserable, unhappy og discontent there is no one else to blame when the sands of time run out for you.

You write as if you know the truth about everything, but from what you write you' re not even searching for the answers yet.

Some minds buckle at the realization of meaninglesnes, if you sit down with your hands in your lap when you realize there is no golden path and no treasure at the end of the rainbow, or what ever metaphore you want to use, that would be a sign that the mind cant handle the entropy of everything.

I dont take you for that kind of person. Bleakness only takes you so far, bare your ribs, let your emotions get the better of you, expose yourself to the dangers of life, and some of the joys will be there as well.

Keep yourself in a box, bitterness will take you eventually. There is nothing worse than a bitter old person.

Our species is fucked.

I read Fences and Windows a few years ago and it opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. We' re all born into servitude, just like the residents of The Matrix and our sole purpose is to keep the economy going.

Everything in life is a choice

That my friend, is debatable.

That my friend, is debatable.

The only choices you dont have, are where you got born and by who, and some choices are taken by your parents!

Your born, you get old, then you die.

Thats life right?

But at least we got to play Videogames, amirite?

Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.

Viva La Revolution! erm, I mean Viva La Wii!

The only choices you dont have, are where you got born and by who, and some choices are taken by your parents!

As a follower of causal determinism I will have to respectfully disagree with you completely.

We exist in a mathematical universe with a cause and effect for everything. If one could count all the atoms and electrons and be able to completely understand how this relates to consciousness you' d be able to predict choice. Having options does not mean you have a choice. We always choose what we see as the best option.

The cognitive engines in place that consider options are only able to look at things which are out of our control. Even development of the brain is based on things out of our control. It only feels like a choice because we can' t percieve all the variables. However sure enough as with all equations the variables are there and only add up to one single answer. All of history has been written aeons ago.


Human beings are an ecosystem of Biochemistry, Molecular Physics and blind chance, we don' t control any of it. We mearly represent the outcome.
We' re nothing more than numbers of the massive equation that is existance. And I suck at math...

As a follower of causal determinism I will have to respectfully disagree with you completely.

We exist in a mathematical universe with a cause and effect for everything. If one could count all the atoms and electrons and be able to completely understand how this relates to consciousness you' d be able to predict choice. Having options does not mean you have a choice. We always choose what we see as the best option.

The cognitive engines in place that consider options are only able to look at things which are out of our control. Even development of the brain is based on things out of our control. It only feels like a choice because we can' t percieve all the variables. However sure enough as with all equations the variables are there and only add up to one single answer. All of history has been written aeons ago.


Human beings are an ecosystem of Biochemistry, Molecular Physics and blind chance, we don' t control any of it. We mearly represent the outcome.
We' re nothing more than numbers of the massive equation that is existance. And I suck at math...

Whether or not you choose what is the best option for you isnt always a given, you have a choice about how well you do in school. whether you kill a man and take his wallet.

I agree if the universe and time is eternal, everything that has happened wil happen again, an infinete amount of times, but that doesnt take away choice and consqeuence!

But at least we got to play Videogames, amirite?

Yarly.

Whether or not you choose what is the best option for you isnt always a given

I was speaking subjectively, about consciousness and sub-consciousness. In other words we do what we think is best, or what nature dictates. Let me rephrase that better, we always do what is more compelling. Obviously we don' t always get the best results. My point is that everything we are is a result of our environment along with our DNA.

For me to be interested in anything enough to chase after it, it has to be more compelling than my belief that life is completely futile. The end result is the only thing that matters and I understand what that is.

But don' t let me bring you down. I' m pretty sure life would be more enjoyable without my frame of thought.

you have a choice about how well you do in school. whether you kill a man and take his wallet.

Then let me ask you this. Why do we make the choices we make? What is the difference between the guy who steals a wallet and the guy who doesn' t?

Based on our free will as human beings combined with our past experience and deductive reasoning.

A man who' s stolen 5 wallets has few qualms about stealing one more. A man who' s stolen none is not likely to start unless subjected to an extreme situation. The man who steals five we can assume did not have one of his own before he began stealing, making that an extreme situation. The man who stole none has one of his own, making him again, less likely to steal a wallet.

So what you' re saying is that we all make the same choices unless given different circumstances?

It' s impossible to have two people with the same life circumstances, so saying whether we would or wouldn' t is irrelevant. Two people are going to experience the same situation in different ways.

I' ll finish this later. I gotta go do that christmas thing.